I recently ranted about the modern business traveller and the ugly attitude of middle management wankers. Here is another group I deeply despise: hordes of traveling girlies.

Armed with ever talking red lips and singing cell phones they are hardly able to carry, push or move their luggage - which always seems several times their own weight and size. How many minimal string tangas and bikinis does one need?

But it’s not only their voice level and sheer bulk of their caravan that annoys me. The problem is that they stop any male airport worker’s brain from working properly. While they get the royal treatment any plain fat white male simply gets ignored and not even any basic services done properly.

Next time I book a flight I stick some fake titties on my oversized body. That should at least get me some attention!