personal

I consider myself an thinker, writer and artist.

My character seems to be a weird remix between being a misantrophic hermit, an arty-farty jester and preaching anarchist. I am a great fool, no saint.

One of my greatest sins is my minds ‘vanity’ – ‘uhhh, I am such a smartass!’ – and knowledge in all forms, shapes and colours. I also immensely enjoy the sins ’sloth’ and ‘gluttony’ – I am overweight and love nothing more then to ‘be’ on my futon and stuff delicous food in my fat belly and preach to others the virtue of yoga.

Sometimes I misunderstood my few moments of premature enlightenment and started ‘healing’ (or more like ‘preaching’) to people. That motion is gone now – although I am still a great agony aunt for some people, but I restrict myself as much as I can. Bugger off! If you want to suffer – do it by yourself.

Beauty, nature and great works of art deeply touch my soul. I also adore wisdom both in knowledge, social skills and ‘body’ (like in yoga).

orange … anything …

Always loved orange – most vibrant colour of da universe. It is the colour of buddhist monks and it was the colour of the techno scene. Both somehow stuck in my head.

So my nick ‘orangeguru’ is a compliment to the buddhist world as well as funky music. And it’s my personal joke: according to some eastern religions we all have an inner guru that guides us on our way to enlightenment – but we all can be gurus for others as well. Somehow I no longer want both: no compassion for others, no stupid enlightenment for myself.

Guru – maybe in another life?

personal history

1967 April 28th born in Munich
1972 to 1982 primary school
1982 to 1983 secondary school
1983 to 1986 graphic training
1987 to 1988 editor for DOS International
1988 to 1997 freelance journalist & designer
1998 to 2002 freelance consultant
2003 to 2004 graphic designer & system admin
2005 to 2999 freelance information architect

1996 moved from Munich to London
1999 moved from London to San Francisco
2000 moved from San Francisco to Hamburg
2001 moved from Hamburg to Munich

family

I was a very independent kid, always fighting with my mom and looking out for my hard working dad. Our family broke apart thru the death of my mother’s mother. She got depressive, addicted to pills, which in the end killed – including some other factors – my parents relationship. Age 19 my parents separated, I had a happy time with my dad, until he kicked me out so get on my own feet …

My father Dieter senior is now retired and lives with his new wife Inge on Fuerte Ventura. They both had cases of serious cancer. My mother died 1997 from long illness and a final second heart attack.

Overall I am not much of an family person.

friends

I had a great group of weird and creative friends in my childhood, who helped me to explore movies, music, literature and my own ideas. Also many of my neighboors in the house were I grew up influenced me greatly – full of old men who were professors for art, design and architekture. Just by watching them I learned a lot about following yourself and being expressive, without being loud.

My way of ‘doing’ friedship has been dramatically altered by my experiences in London (1997). Before those two years, I was very involved, dedicated, aggressive and loyal with my friendships. Since my family was not deeply emotional nor artistic, my friends became my family and outlets for ideas and visions.

Since I knew nobody upon my arrival in the UK I had to start my social network from scratch. Which was hard, but also a good thing to learn. I told be some important lessons about the importance of friends, but also my fanatic involvement with my teenage friends. It was time to let go and make space for new friends.

London also told me a lot about consciously forming relationships as well as accepting when they have come to a temporary or final standstill.

Now that I am an old fart I hardly have any friends. I have just outgrown all the social niceties and time wasting rituals. I prefer solitude and a few, but excellent exchanges with brilliant people. These days I live more like a monk – something I always did – but it’s just more concious and dedicated today.

creativity

Overall my life started reading science fiction literature and drawing space ships – those stories blew my mind away, opened new perspectives and different ways to look at life. I also got interested in history at a very early age – sucking up any book or documentation on the telly.

My creativity took off when I met Patrick in school (age 12) and we started creative projects like 8mm movies.

This all resulted later into joining a Star Wars Fan club and becoming a member of it’s editorial fan magazine staff. The next step included role playing games and buying myself my first computer (1986) – including Wordstar to write letters and articles.

These events are still the foundation of my life: my interest in exploring the cosmos, looking at things from several perspectives, persuing creative projects and publishing my thoughts – with the help of computers.

spiritual

I was always interested in asian philosophies and martial arts. I had my first trials with Tai Chi, Yoga and Aikido in my early twenties.

This all helped me to understand energy work and disassembling my own psyche while doing therapy at the age of 23. I needed some help, because I was once beaten up terribly on the street – and still suffered from this traumatic experience.

I continued my therapy into a sort of esoterical lifestyle till age 28 and explored the alternative scene further on: men’s workshops, expressive dance, yoga, tantra, encounter and energy work.

Today I would call myself a realpolitik-spiritualist, a dogma free zone with some built in preaching and still great lust for exploration. I consider ‘the cosmos’ more complicated that we humans will ever be able to formulate with our limited brains and language. Maybe math and art will succed in catching fragments of the wonder of creation … but only fragments …

Overall I am ver ANTI religion. It really is 99,9% opium for the masses. And even the eastern varieties I deeply symphatize with are mostly stupid and have weird ideas. I can learn from the symbolism without fearing carmic demons or jews who can walk on water.

woman, sex and relationships

Women always played an important part in my life – until recently. I gues it must be my age and the lack of sexual desire that changed this.

In the beginning I found sexuality and courtship very easy to understand and to enjoy, especially since I always combined it with loads of sensuality. One thing I never liked about it was being pressured by my desires, hornyness and need ‘to have it off’. Always hated it, because this was the dark side of sex, driven, egoistic, destructive …

Still I am not sure if I ever comprehend the true meaning of relationship or even marriage. I have never been married and my longest relationships lasted only a couple of years, but usually only months.

Age and experience of course changed my views on relationships as well. I let go of my illusions of being great family material and interested in a steady relationship anyway.

My biggest dream is to have a best friend on my side to explore this life (which I am more then halfway thru by now). Intimacy and a refreshing spirituality would be just the cherry on top of that dream. I am still looking for Miss Right, but I am no longer in a hurry or in a mating frenzy.

work

I started publishing my first fan magazine in the age of twelve, started an apprenticeship in the printing industry age sixteen and became a contributing editor at a computer magazine age twenty. For almost 20 years I worked freelance as a designer, writer, information architect, layouter, consultant, trainer and system administrator.

My work is very important to me, since I don’t consider it a job, but my passion.

Freelancing is my life. I can no longer work or survive in a corporate enviroment, because find most office politics and social banter an insult to my intelligence and well being. I know better ways to pain myself or waste my time.

interests

There is hardly anything I am NOT interested in.

Art, science, languages, different cultures, history, writing, painting, good stories, politics and spirituality. Plus blogging, ranting, thinking, raving and preaching …

I am a shopping slut for anything smart and simple digital gadget (the iPod is smart, the iPhone overdone). Overall I no longer get excited by computer and high tech. That is now the job of great art …

Without bit torrent to download and watch great documentaries I would be lost or hanged myself by now. I need my intelligent and inspiring daily media fix – like documentaries about art, history and politics. Comedy is well – but only stuff that is either completely dadaistic (like Jacques Tati) or has some brain behind it (Daily Show, Colbert Report, Bill Maher, Bill Hicks).

The more I learn about life, the universe and all the rest – the more bored and fascinated I am. Life is amazing, art & beauty are the highest order in the universe. Humanity can stop it’s own progress, although we are all pretty stupid. The drama of the human condition will create amazing moments and even more pain and boredom.

I laugh about it, amaze myself until I die.

Thanks for reading all that crap.

Dieter Mueller
2007-09-09

(first version 2004-02-23)
(small update 2004-08-08)
(small update 2005-10-13)
(major update 2007-09-09)