You are not sexy because you smoke - you are sexy, because you are pretty, young and fertile - and your skin doesn’t look and smell like you already have smoked for several decades.

Let me pleasure your oral fixation in another way …

Woman are much better then men running the household. Nah, it’s just old traditional thinking. So many modern women can’t cook, can’t organize, still hate ironing and are as sloppy as guys.

“Not matter how I dress it’s not an invitation for rape.”

Right …

All flight attendants are lovely, unmarried, fertile, beautiful and horny young woman - who have been waiting just for YOU.

Modern Women always know what they want …

This is the only car you’ll ever need.

We need machines to keep ourselves fit. I especially love fixed running machines that use electricity to keep you running.

The reception gets better by proximity.

Using electronic gadgets on a plane can cause a crash. Anyone failed to mention that planes are stuffed with tons of redundant electronics themselves. Plus they can even cope with with thunderstorms.

I am a happy single woman, I don’t need a guy. My biological clock isn’t ticking neither is my brain. I am never lonely. I never eat Haagen Däz in desperation, I’ve never seen a single episode of ‘Sex in the City’ and I never buy more shoes that I ever need. Right?

Image: Photographer unknown - Gillian Anderson

If someone is offended by a joke then this race, religion, company, lifestyle or person has a serious flaw. Any imbalance from within creates insecurity that won’t respond kindly to jokes and sarcasm.

Not every beach boy is really cool.

In corporate lifestyle any memo from the middle management is equal to a brain fart. Good thing that all email programs offers a filter and an autodelete function.

Only the best ingredients for your beloved pets. I guess many starving people would kill such a great feast. Many pets in industrial countries are incredibly spoiled.

Marketing tells us all the truthiness about the USPs* of a new product or service we don’t need nor want. Isn’t that great that whole armies of brains are working overtime to make up reasons to buy crap? What a waste of human potential!

*unique selling points

Computers will bring us the Age of the paperless Office …

Installing the latest upgrades and system patches will make your computer work better, faster, more secure and reliable.

*muhahaha (evil admin laugh)

Not everyone remembers their first kiss - but certainly their first breakup.

Samurai are all honorable gentleman, well educated and spiritual down to their core. They only beheaded peasants only for their own good - and slaughtered each other over centurys for a good cause - the lust for power.

All call center operators are fertile young females waiting for your call.

Yes, women fart - and they are the worst liars about it! I was eye witness to several female companions who performed exploding farts while sleeping. Shocked they woke up and they blamed someone else of course …

The more you scare me to buy your insurance, washing powder or incontinence pants the more likely I am going to kill myself instead of buying all that crap. Stop worrying people - there is no reason to panic about consumer goodies. Life is already complicated enough - we already have politicians who scare us with more serious stuff.

“A healthy mind in a healthy body” - yeah right! Overall the fitness and sports industry and so called experts have inspired people to do more stupid stuff to themselves then anybody else.

Although I agree that physical exercise does influence the human psyche - most modern disciplines like Body Building or Aerobic ignore the wisdom of old traditions like Yoga to include so called ‘inner processes’ in the workout.

No, the journey is not a reward in itself. Many paths lead to wrong solutions and some mistakes are irreversible. And not every lesson is worth learning - some seriously suck and have no ‘higher’ value whatsoever. And finally: not every journey ends with a happy end - not everybody gets to see the big Wizard and collect all the rewards.

Just because you are a lot on TV doesn’t mean you are very popular and loved. At least by some people.

Argh, a mutation! Pah - genetic mutations are one important aspect of evolution - it always happened and will continue to do so.

Extra drama and tears does not result in extra points. No matter how much you grin, how sexy you dress or much you cry - I won’t watch figure skating.  

No Ronald Reagan did not bring down communism - it simply collapsed under it’s own weight. Soviet economists already warned their ignorant Politbüro in the 70’s that without market reforms the union could no longer ‘work’. Gorbatchev was smart enough to admit the final failure instead of doing anything stupid.

No, the blond gene won’t disappear any time soon - that’s a lie. Neither will Peroxide to create artificial blondes nor will general dumbness and dumb blonde jokes.

We shouldn’t keep all the old traditions - many are out of date, racist, sexist or simply stupid. The same applies to wearing old traditional costumes like Dirndls or Kilts. Why not dress in leopard skins and mammoth fur as well?!

Every vote counts. Every dollar/euro counts even more.