Archive for the 'Modern Psyche' Category

Learn to enjoy your lazy inner Pig!

psyche_inner_pig

We are all lazy to some degree - and there is a reason why laziness is a cardinal sin: it kills. But there is laziness and laziness. We all have to learn to enjoy ourselves without guilt. The art of slowness and enjoying life is not laziness - and it’s doesn’t kill anyone if you clean your kitchen not today, but tomorrow.

But you also have to learn to kick your inner pig and set priorities AND act on them. After you have achieved something great or important you two can have a mud bath and enjoy each others company … AFTERWARDS.

orangeguru (05-04 12:50) | No Comments | Permalink
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Burst your bubble and choose some tough thoughts to crack for a better brain

psyche_bubble_of_life

Do you open your mind? Are you an open person? Are you open to new things? Are you well connect?

Of course you are … NOT. We are live in intellectual and emotional bubbles. Our brains are our bubbles - and how much we train, expand and use them.

The question is: even when our brains are limited how much do you use it? No, this is not about the old “we only use 10% of our brain”-myth. It is much more about training and education.

Our brain and the mind within needs to be constantly trained, challenged and cultivated. Brain scans have shown unused brain literally loose capacity and become dull. The mind needs to be sharpened by usage and challenges. Only running “on easy” will dumb you down.

So the questions is now: how much do you open your bubble to let in new, challenging, unknown, uncomfortable and complicated thoughts and tasks? Do you allow “nasty” paradoxes and even painful mind benders into your bubble that will keep your mind fighting and chewing on them - or do you limit your brain and yourself to “easy thinking”?

You have to understand that your mind is only a part of you - a part that needs training and something to challenge it. Regard as your inner dog: give him some yummy bones to chew on, some wild toys to chase around and keep him busy. He will like that!

orangeguru (04-08 0:47) | 1 Comment | Permalink
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Like boxing one has to learn fighting and arguing

psyche_learn_fighting

We all dislike fighting and arguing with other people, co-workers and loved ones. But it’s a necessary part of life.

Most people are stressed out by fights and anger. But like boxing it is a skill that can be learned to reduce the stress and not to waste too much energy. It’s not about anger management, but dealing with stress during a confrontation, making proper arguments, understanding the  physical effects of stress and anger on your body and mind … and getting out of your own “hot head”.

By developing a “conflict culture” and getting to know yourself in hot situations is a benefit to yourself and everybody else. You still can be mad, passionate and intense about your opinions, but you learn how to focus and use your power in a good way to make your point of view clear.

A good fight / argument can be highly stimulation and refreshing - it doesn’t need to be a total disaster for everybody.

orangeguru (03-31 10:20) | No Comments | Permalink
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The sad truth about pumping yourself up for daily life

That commercial precisely captures two modern truths: pumping yourself up with music (via your iPod) and loads of sugar & caffeine from your local latte dealer.

Music, sugar and caffeine to make ourselves feel good and calm down our neurotic egos. We do matter! We do great stuff! We have a great job to fulfil! We are someone!

So we force our brains to feel euphoric although there is nothing to feel euphoric about. So that high that you kick yourself into is simply self-deception and worth nothing.

Stop lying to yourself and get real highs.

orangeguru (03-19 16:26) | No Comments | Permalink
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Relationships are no substitute for inner happiness

psyche_monroe_and_miller

Poor Marilyn tried all kind of partners: the smart ones, the physical ones, the nasty ones and the famous ones. But none of these relationships made her happy.

There is something in all of us that hopes that a beloved person will complete us - turn us into a perfect being and therefore give us eternal happiness. Even after many disappointments that (romantic) promise of completion still is strong.

And it is a very alluring idea! Plug and play - and your are complete, healed, perfect, loved, fucked and cared for. A partner completes our social, sexual and emotional dualities. They are strong when we are weak, they are there to reflect ourselves and complete the whole idea of male & female opposites.

Nature has built duality into our sexuality to increase the changes of survival. With free ranging male and females there is a bigger genetic variation and therefore the species is better equipped to deal with disease.

But our psyche is not based on that principal - we need the opposite sex to make babies, but we don’t need another person to grow our inner child into an inner adult.

In our minds and from experience we know that this idea of the perfect relationship is not true. In reality we often confuse our biological urges to mate & merge with our inner processes and sense of a incomplete self.

psyche_puzzle of you

The many pieces of you: allow yourself to be complex, full of different pieces and shapes.

But instead of “completing” our self with part from another person we need to learn and accept that this is our job.

We surely can ignore that task - dive into jobs, religion, relationships, sex, kids or hobbies to distract ourselves from being “complete” and happy.

Every day you have to look at yourself and you will know if that void is nagging in the background and wants to be filled with the right pieces of your inner puzzle. Don’t feed yourself the wrong pieces - confront yourself, grow and close the gaps yourself.

Only than you are yourself. All parts are yours and you are a free person - not depended on the love, approval, confirmation and parts from other people.

orangeguru (03-05 16:01) | No Comments | Permalink
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Communication is essential for Humans

digital_babyphone_by_koert_van_mensvoort_

Image by Koert van Mensvoort 

Annoyed by cell phones all over the place? People talking all the time? Too bad. But we humans need to communicate for our social and individual survival. Communication is an essential part of our existence to reflect ourselves and connect to the group consciousness.

It really starts in the womb and ends with death. In between we are busy communicating, exchanging ideas, learning, archiving, expanding and revising knowledge.

orangeguru (03-01 12:49) | No Comments | Permalink
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Pain Porn on YouTube - show me were it really hurts

blogo_youtube_pain_porn

At the moment the VERY painful video of Eduardo da Silva’s accident is all the rage on YouTube - and is a big hit with the kids. One has really to wonder why watching such a painful video is all the rage?

Scientists have long proven that we empathize and re-live such experiences simply by watching other humans doing (stupid) stuff. So I can only extend this idea in this way: we watch pain porn to train ourselves for such moments and try to cope with it’s consequences - even when it isn’t happening to us.

YouTube is full of fight videos that concentrate only on knock outs and bloody scenes, you can also find tons of accident and crash videos that show only the nasty bits.

Do we simply need some blood and nasty stuff from time to time? By watching terrible stuff happen to other does that help us to enjoy our less painful life?

orangeguru (02-25 13:44) | No Comments | Permalink
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Even the adult mind just wants to have fun

psyche_having_fun_like_kids

We all know phrases like “inner child” or “being playful like a kid”. The adult mind obviously is jealous of the fun and simplicity the young mind seems to enjoy.

But it is important to understand that the young mind / brain simply doesn’t understand many things and simply hasn’t learnt them yet. So these simple minds can only understand simple fun and obvious entertainment.

Adults have the pleasure of understanding more complex ‘fun’ or entertaining ‘constructions’ of art, entertainment and meanings.

So when it comes to ‘fun’ adults have a broader scope of possibilities - it’s up to them to enjoy them.

orangeguru (02-17 10:32) | 1 Comment | Permalink
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Law & Order on TV - why do we love to watch Justice Porn

modern_justive_TV_cops

Watching the underclass, the addicted and the stupid getting busted. Doesn’t that make you feel superior?

It is amazing how many shows there are on TV that deal with justice, law and order. It doesn’t matter if it’s reality TV like Cops or fiction like those many CSI shows (all these different offspring of the same formula are a phenomenon in itself). Each country seems to have it own mixture of court TV, forensic documentaries, lawyer dramas and car chases …

In all these shows one topic prevails: the law wins, the bad guys are caught and punished.

One would think that we would want to watch something relaxing in the evening or ignore other people’s problems - instead murder and minute details of investigation seem to be more interesting than some simpler forms of entertainment.

modern_justive_TV_nancy

I’ll give you blood, you give me better ratings!

But behind all this is our natural (?) desire for social porn: to participate in what’s going on and staying informed about the newest gossip of the global tribe. It doesn’t matter if it’s a real event like O.J. Simpsons trial or such trivial crap like Paris Hilton going to jail for being a drunken pussy. We want to be informed and we want to ‘relate’ - and it doesn’t matter if it’s a petty criminal or a superstar - or even fictional character.

It doesn’t matter if it’s other humans killing each other or making love to each other - we love to watch and learn intimate secrets behind it all.

But there is another layer to this lust for justice. It’s a double sided affair of the same mechanism of ‘violence’. We all have been victims of social, emotional or even criminal violence - so we want justice, revenge or just the reassurance that we will receive justice and protection. But deep in our fantasies we are also thieves and murderers - we all had the impulse / moments in our life’s to cause mayhem to others out of anger or a simple case of road rage.

modern_justive_TV_CSI

Science and bad scripts to the rescue - we bring justice on a weekly basis.

So on one side we want protection from violence - but we also love to explore and participate when others were violent or even killed. For a few minutes we can dive into the mindset of the killer, the victims and the justice system - and compare it to our own inner world. It a mental carnival in which we can play every role and explore their good and bad sides while munching potato chips.

Scientists have shown many times that we mentally and emotionally emphatize on a deep level with other people - no matter if we watch something happening in reality (like driving by a traffic accident and everybody gloats) or a fictional event (we cry when made up characters die or model our lives on their behavior).

Especially in our hysterical media world plus criminals and terrorists at each corner we welcome ’security’, ‘justice’ and ‘protection’ - even when it’s just artificial. Soothing our minds is almost as important as real justice, protection or security.

So watching violence and how others deal with it or are doing terrible stuff helps us to cope with violence in our own lives and shows us new, different or frightening ways to deal with this topic.

But real crime and real violence is no ‘game’ to explore. Especially in fictional crime the dead always return in another series and lethal injuries can be overcome with a good script. Even court TV, recreations or documentaries do not really show the blood, pain and horror or real crimes. So can’t really emphatize, we always only get a filtered nicer version of reality.

modern_justice_TV_celebrity

Even celebrity victims are pretty dead after being murdered by their celebrity husbands.

Before I finish the empathy aspect of the Justice Porn: it is amazing that we do not really hunger for justice. In many fictional and real stories we are rather fascinated by the dark and evil characters. Some murderers have become celebrities or have a weird cult following. It is more of a social consensus that the bad guys have to loose, not because we love justice, but because we don’t want to be on the receiving end of a bad persons action without protection and the moral high ground against ‘evil doers’.

Since we all can relate to pain and suffering we all agree / empathize that we don’t want to suffer from it. This has nothing to do with justice, this is simply egoism and self preservation.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT:  Judge Reinhold (guest starring as himself) uses his new judge show to preside over the Bluth family mock trial in the episode "Fakin' It" airing as part of a special full hour of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT Monday, Jan. 9 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  ©2005 Fox Broadcasting Co.  CR: Sam Urdank/FOX

It’s good to be the king …

One last aspect is the God-complex in all of this. Sitting there and watching the crime like God watches masturbating sinners - we ’see and know’ more than the real or unreal protagonists. We are TV Gods, we know it all - and we also judge the people in the stories and events we watch on screen.

It’s truly pornography of power for the powerless. It’s an illusion of power and simpler version of sitting on a jury bench yourself (just without any responsibility). Most of all ‘all of our couch potato opinions’ don’t have any serious consequences. The law and justice are thankfully no longer bound to popular opinions or people’s anger and rage - at least in most countries.

And that’s a good thing. Instead of ropes for lynching and stones for stonings give them TV.

orangeguru (02-04 21:47) | 6 Comments | Permalink
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Look into my eyes

sleaze_kate-beckinsale_eyes

Click image for a deeper look.

Why is looking ‘deep’ into another persons eyes such an intensive experience? Why is such an exchange such an intimate moment? Why is it so hard to look a stranger for longer periods directly ‘into’ the eyes?

And why can ‘excited’ eyes make us so horny and a cold look kill our desire to live?

The eyes have it - looks can kill.

orangeguru (01-22 15:19) | 1 Comment | Permalink
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When social animals meet in elevators

It is easy to laugh about this old candid camera ‘prank’ - but it is a very good study of our social behavior and conformity. We want to fit in - and most of us do it automatically and without ‘thinking about it’.

So next time you stand in a cue, shop in a mail, go into an elevator or sit in a sauna - try to see what kind of rules are in play, what kind of consensus is silently agreed on and how you yourself comply.

orangeguru (01-11 21:58) | No Comments | Permalink
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Human, all too Human - Nietzsche

BBC documentary / 50 min

Nitzsche finally freed us from God and Religion - he also deepened our understanding and horizon about personal freedom, pain and development.

orangeguru (12-29 13:45) | 2 Comments | Permalink
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Human, all too Human - Heidegger

BBC documentary / 50 min

Heidegger - the last of Germany’s great Philosophers and weird thinkers. Although he had some great insights - he totally failed to see the dangers of Fascism.

orangeguru (12-29 13:43) | 5 Comments | Permalink
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Human, all too Human - Sartre

BBC documentary / 50 min

A great documentary about Sartre - and how he compliments Nietzsche and Heidegger.

orangeguru (12-29 13:40) | No Comments | Permalink
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Philosophy: A Guide to Happiness - Part 1. Socrates on Self-Confidence

Written by Alain De Botton / 25 min.

Part 1: Socrates on Self-Confidence
Part 2: Epicurus on Happiness
Part 3: Seneca on Anger
Part 4: Montaigne on Self-Esteem
Part 5: Schopenhauer on Love
Part 6: Nietzsche on Hardship

More? Alain De Button @ Wikipedia and Socrates @ Wikipedia

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Philosophy: A Guide to Happiness - Part 2. Epicurus on Happiness

Written by Alain De Botton / 25 min.

Part 1: Socrates on Self-Confidence
Part 2: Epicurus on Happiness
Part 3: Seneca on Anger
Part 4: Montaigne on Self-Esteem
Part 5: Schopenhauer on Love
Part 6: Nietzsche on Hardship

More? Alain De Button @ Wikipedia and Epicurus @ Wikipedia

orangeguru (12-27 9:18) | No Comments | Permalink
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Philosophy: A Guide to Happiness - Part 3. Seneca on Anger

Written by Alain De Botton / 25 min.

Part 1: Socrates on Self-Confidence
Part 2: Epicurus on Happiness
Part 3: Seneca on Anger
Part 4: Montaigne on Self-Esteem
Part 5: Schopenhauer on Love
Part 6: Nietzsche on Hardship

More? Alain De Button @ Wikipedia and Seneca @ Wikipedia

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Philosophy: A Guide to Happiness - Part 4. Montaigne on Self-Esteem

Written by Alain De Botton / 25 min.

Part 1: Socrates on Self-Confidence
Part 2: Epicurus on Happiness
Part 3: Seneca on Anger
Part 4: Montaigne on Self-Esteem
Part 5: Schopenhauer on Love
Part 6: Nietzsche on Hardship

More? Alain De Button @ Wikipedia and Montaigne @ Wikipedia

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Philosophy: A Guide to Happiness - Part 5. Schopenhauer on Love

Written by Alain De Botton / 25 min.

Part 1: Socrates on Self-Confidence
Part 2: Epicurus on Happiness
Part 3: Seneca on Anger
Part 4: Montaigne on Self-Esteem
Part 5: Schopenhauer on Love
Part 6: Nietzsche on Hardship

More? Alain De Button @ Wikipedia and Schopenhauer @ Wikipedia

orangeguru (12-27 9:08) | No Comments | Permalink
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Philosophy: A Guide to Happiness - Part 6. Nietzsche on Hardship

Written by Alain De Botton / 25 min.

Part 1: Socrates on Self-Confidence
Part 2: Epicurus on Happiness
Part 3: Seneca on Anger
Part 4: Montaigne on Self-Esteem
Part 5: Schopenhauer on Love
Part 6: Nietzsche on Hardship

More? Alain De Button @ Wikipedia and Nietzsche @ Wikipedia

orangeguru (12-27 9:05) | 8 Comments | Permalink
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Blinded by your Life?

psyche_Blinded_by_events

There are such things as reactions time, habits and a learning curve. Our minds are (sometimes) great to react quickly to something physical - but in social, political, personal, emotional or technical situations we are rather slow.

It takes for our psyche or so called egos VERY long to understand new situations, figure out new people in our life’s or even our own selfish desires.

Then we are blinded by our life’s - looking daft or simply continue to behave like nothing has changed. But we are often ‘behind’ our own situation - slowly adopting to change …

Don’t be startled. Don’t be ignorant. Don’t be a creature of habits.

Change is natural. Surprises are normal. Go deal with them. Go and experiment. It’s fun!

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On the road to nowhere …

labyrinth_of_the_heart

Love seems a good that only gets more interesting the more complicated it is to get it. That might be more a game of the ego instead of the heart. Being nice, being loved and loving someone can be pretty easy - if your ego just could stop demanding stuff attached to love itself.

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How to deal with fear and fight the effects of stress on your mind

psyche_piece_of_shark

Angst is the main reasons why we fail many tasks. Simply being scared can reduce the smartest and most competent humans to a shaky nothing.

But why is fear itself so terrible? Because it ‘kills’ our capability to think straight.

Our brains have so called lower and higher brain functions - based on in which part of the brain they are situated. (Click here to read a very well done introduction to the brain).

Our Stem Brain is the most automatic and stupidest part of the brain. It controls the (survival) reflexes/instincts and acts first (instead of ‘thinking’). Fear is not only a mental reaction (meaning it’s not just firing up your neurons to work harder), but also a chemical reaction. Adrenaline is pumped into our system and all muscles get ready for some action. Your heart and lungs start working harder too - pumping more oxygen into your system for extra power. And your brain actually speeds up thinking in dangerous situation - that is why fearful and dangerous situations are often described with "and time stood still".

psyche_panic_button

Fight or flight is fears dedicated motto - on a most primitive survival level. That is why the body and mind go into overdrive to get yourself out of the danger zone if fear kicks in. But modern life is mostly social or work related stress. We are no longer faced with lions hunting us down or surviving in nature.

All these physical preparations for Fight-or-Flight happen before your higher brain functions can kick in: take control and really THINK.

To deal with fear, calming yourself down and really work the problem is hard work for your brain and has to be trained. An untrained brain simply goes into survival mode and acts on reflexes (which can be sometimes good in physically dangerous situations).

It takes some effort and training to learn to deal with fear - so your higher brain functions get the upper hand and you can think before you act - thus controlling your natural instincts and reflexes.

psyche_brain_grey_matter

Let’s train da brain …

Here are some pointer of training yourself to deal with fear and stress:

  1. Mental Awareness: Unless you realize that you are in a state or fear or extreme stress you can’t act upon it. Some people literally go blank when they are in stress or fear. You have to learn to stay aware and realize that you are full of fear.
  2. Physical Awareness: Once you get hold of your brain you should check how your body is doing. There is a huge difference between a little faster heart beat or totally shaking with fear. Or even pissing yourself because of fear. Some people even can’t see straight. So check your breathing, heart rate, sight, shakiness, stomach for fear syndromes. Realize how excited and stressed you already are to determine the effects of adrenaline and stress on yourself.
  3. Threat Assessment: In a physically threatening situation your body might have already acted (like pulling your hand out of fire), but in many modern fearful and stressful situations this is useless. You don’t kill your boss  (fight) or run away (flight), just because he gives you an evaluation. And there is no reason to shot your Laptop, because your Windows update fucked up. So wrap your head around the problem and see beyond the fear.
  4. Calming Down: You should instantly start to cool down your system. Take control of your breathing - stop any hyperventilating if you are not planning to Fight or Flight. Also get a grip on your posture, don’t crouch like a ‘frightened coward’, but get upright for self esteem and and better control. Really tell yourself to calm down, realize that you are still alive and able to deal with the problem. It is important to understand that the Adrenaline in your blood will take some time to go away. So don’t expect total control in a few seconds.
  5. Switching to higher Thinking: Our brains are magnificent, but they also need some time to get working. It’s no use to stress yourself into thinking straight - more stress doesn’t help. Try to give yourself a mental break before engaging into problem solving - if th