I can’t wait to show my delicious curves at the beach and see all the fertile young females flee the sandy shores in disgust.

Good for me!

Less chicks means less drooling guys which means less noise …

I prefer my beaches empty and quiet.

This is why: Christmas at the beach – you bastards!

All my life I have been freezing my butt off waiting for Santa, while you lot enjoy yourselves at the beach.

It’s not fair.

Hope it will be a happy feast for the sharks.

Click image for more Sex at the Beach.

I find Mr Allen somewhat disturbed, his appetite for young flesh seems to be still there and yummy Scarlet seems to like him.

It will take years of hard therapy to get this couple out of my head.

Click image for an even hotter summer.

Why would you pay any attention to stupid males if you have such a gorgeous view? Soft rolling hills and smooth lines.

Photographer: Anyone knows the great artista behind this shot?

Click image to see more sand.

Picasso always amuses me. He has such a wonderful way to look at the world and reduce it to it’s bare essentials. The head – just a tiny thing with a few holes. A stretched arm to provide comfort. A small dune (?) and two more female hills. Sand and skin are almost the same on the beach.

I love it.

Bikini + Burka = Bikini.

Now you know why Baywatch was such a hit in Muslim countries – and why there never will be a real Arab remake.