“You can tell me - I was brilliant during phone sex - wasn’t I?!”

Love seems a good that only gets more interesting the more complicated it is to get it. That might be more a game of the ego instead of the heart. Being nice, being loved and loving someone can be pretty easy - if your ego just could stop demanding stuff attached to love itself.

Just because you own an official Yoga mat and think that animals should be treated nicely this doesn’t make you a spiritual person. That humble feeling and that cosmic love everybody is talking about comes after selling out your ego, not buying new stuff for it.

Is it maybe my age? Or is it because I am unable to form proper relationships? But I am getting less and less pussy in my life. This is not a complaint about being sexless, but rather without some recharging contact to lovely females …

Sex is certainly nice and exciting, although I find the pure act itself rather boring and uninspiring. Orgasm is usually quicker achieved without third party support. Sure, one can look out for new kicks, like a little bit perversion on the side, drugs or mind boggling experiments (like fucking in an exploding space shuttle).

But I am hungry for something else …

I spent quite some time on personal sex and sensual culture, by doing Tantra, massage and yoga. Which is good. It’s great to know your heart chakra from your ass, as well being able to know for yourself if you feel horny or simply true love and affection for another human being. This is all very helpful. Thank you so much Mr. Insight.

But knowing stuff is one thing - now for the practical part. Already during my first Tantra days I had quite a hard time finding women who understood this new ‘thing’, being able to cope with a so called ‘emotionally grown up male’. Since I have overcome the snobbish esoteric desire to heal women with my holy penis (or Lingam as the Tantrist call the sausage bit), there is now a lot of time to experience a nice flow of energy and sexuality between a lovely Shakti and me (the so called Shiva). I am not asking for a cosmic orgy every night or the supreme priestess of Yoni in my life, just a bit understanding and tenderness beyond the old in & out mechanism.

This is not tantric snobbism. I am just a firm believer that lovemaking is a set skills, that goes way beyond a simple erection or wetness and some Uhhhs and Ahhhs.

Love technique is a pure set of physical sex skills, to know your own and your partners anatomy, erroneous zones and the effect on hormones and excitement on the human body (and side effects to the mind and emotional side as well - more of that later). Also included is knowledge about how to operate your genitals and pleasure tools, as well as the effects of different positions. In later stages you can add all sorts of games, operation of external pleasure tools and drugs as well.

The next big area is your sexual psyche, how the human mind and emotions interact with sexual energies. Now this is quite a task, but a very fulfilling one. This is were we can learn to be more open, to heal or wounds of love and learn to show and give true affection. Since sex ‘lives’ very close to our egos, there is a lot of potential for conflict, fear, hunger and madness. To master your sex psyche means mostly to confront your hungry sex maniac ego. Me! Me! Me!

For some people the last area of sex magic or spirituality is the most exciting, because they expect some sort of Steven Spielberg effects while making love or instant enlightenment by tantric penetration. Or they simply watched to much advertising bullshit.

An energetic as well as spiritual exchange always happens while making sex/love. If you have read all tantric literature in the world or not. This is more about to learn how to use these energies consciously, instead of an unaware and animalistic level (which is also useful). This is about exchange with your partner, weaving a carpet of love and energy that goes way beyond the satisfaction of an physical orgasm. It’s a deep experience that has a more lasting effect on your psyche on different levels: your ego will feel very happy about all that deep attention it received, your body is humming with energy, your soul is touched on an intimate level, that hardly exist in everyday life.

Let’s go back to my tiny ego problems …

I shed my biggest tears about sensual deprivation. I want to be touched and massaged in a fulfilling way. Once again this is an area where I did some workshops, loads of massage exchanges (with people from different massage ‘traditions’) and of course energy work. In the age of consumer Ayuveda and global esoterica, it seems very hard to find people to celebrate such a basic human ‘thing’: to touch and be touched in a nice way without any sexual drive behind it.

What drives me nuts, is that so called ‘normal’ people have such a hard time giving and receiving a simple pleasure as touching from someone else. It’s always an exclusive thing, just reserved for the one and only true partner or lover.

What a poor and limited concept.

I guess before we ever reach the stage of universal love, we need to explore the universal touch first. If you are afraid of simply touching someone in a pleasant and friendly way, how can you open your heart & mind for compassion or even love for the whole universe?

*repost 2003-09-13*

Since their is no such thing as a ‘universal fairness’ clause we have to cope with pretty heavy problems from time to time in our life’s. Some people say challenges can make you grow, but some challenges simply knock you out. Not every bad situation has a ‘good’ aspect, not every problem will make you grow and help you to become a better or even happier person.

How often do you really hold your own destiny in your hand? And how often do you carefully shape your own path? Do you leave it all to the universe by accident and pure faith? Or do you simply function?!

How often do we really apply our powers to shape our future in a conscious state of mind & spirit?

Some problems in life seem huge and you feel only tiny and insignificant. But David did beat Goliath - and small pinch in the right place can even make giant run away. Take your chance!

Martial arts always had the additional effect of building character - apart from the obvious effect of killing others even better. Thanks to more moderate times and less violence within societies martial art mostly became more spiritual instead of lethal.

Still the Warrior label lives on - and it’s a bad thing. It doesn’t matter if you try to make it more esoteric or peaceful by tweaking it like Rainbow Warrior or Dolphin Warrior.

But is it still the Way of a Warrior? No - unless you consider life, relationships and even business as war. Unless you are in a War or prepare for one you are not a Warrior. Any you should be happy about it.

The Way of a real Warrior who has to fight someday is tough and not just an esoteric hobby to make yourself feel stronger when you a pencil pusher in a huge company who likes to meddle with self enlightenment.

No matter where you go - you inner guru is always with you and lifts you up. The problem is only to find people will to carry your heavy ego around.

I am pretty sure I can compete at least in one aspect of his guruness.

I have searched far and wide - but I haven’t found a single religion nor spiritual discipline that made pathetic behavior for it’s followers mandatory. Do you know one?! But people love being pathetic, doesn’t matter if they are new age incense burners or old school Catholics. They all go for it! You can see sparkling eyes and hear thundering voices during sales presentation as well as in churches and meditation centers. Being pathetic seems to work like an universal fudge to help us poor humans to make ourselves and our believes larger than life - whenever we need to feel bigger …

The show must go on! Why do we love pathos? Does it help us to be better believers or sinners?

Religious or spiritual practices mostly work with rules and rituals to help, educate and guide it’s followers to god/enlightenment. It doesn’t matter if you go the way of the Yogi, Buddha, Tantra or Catholic, you are expected to follow certain rules or better say ‘frame of mind’ to reach enlightenment. Since practice makes you perfect, this is always an ongoing process with no brakes and bonuses. Spirituality mostly means working with yourself, which can be pretty boring, annoying and most of all very personal.

But how do you know you are on the right track? Not everybody gets the treat of a burning bush or a booming voice from the sky. Do you feel happy if you are just a good Buddhist? Can you hear angels singing if God acknowledges your good deeds? How does it feel to be holy?

Now this a dangerous trap: since most spiritual practices are boring or hard work - and our egos love instant gratification - we go for great pathetic moments. Something that makes us feel better about being spiritual. We basically trick ourselves into feeling good or even holy - without ‘Gods’ approval.

Very nasty.

I am sure all the devils and demons agree that this is the right moment to seduce believers into false security and push them a bit further to indulge in into even more spiritual vanity.

Especially the human mob mentality is a great vehicle for pathetic temptations. People love shows, the bigger the better. The greater the show, the more powerful your god. And doesn’t it feel good to have the biggest cosmic buddy on the block? Or show off your God’s powers by building the biggest mega church, temple or mosque on this planet?

Of course pathos also helps when you practice your particular brand of spirituality at home. There is always a thin line between lighting a candle as a help for meditation or just to create a nicer atmosphere. And there is still the questions if lighting a candle really makes you a better person anyway. Tools, gizmos and gimmicks are a sure indicator for pathetic believers. The catchphrase is Kitsch-Religion.

Pathos is spiritual masturbation, a poor substitute for real insights and rewards from hard practice (yes, I don’t believe in instant gratification just for a nice and good person). Who or whatever you choose as your personal God or Heaven - they won’t deliver manna pills to your front door, just because you have subscribed to their point of view. In most spiritual paths the ‘good stuff’ comes from ridding yourself from ego barriers and connecting to the rest of the universe. Amen Dude!

A pathetic ritual or practice is as useless as no spirituality at all. It’s even more dangerous if you show and infect other people with your pathos. As every entertainer or stage magician can tell you, people love to be impressed and seduced. They will always go for big words, pathetic tears of joy and glorious promises instead of the simple ugly truth. The ministry of health warns: pathetic religious advertising is bad for your soul!

Let’s keep it close and personal. Being pathetic during your personal daily routine or rituals may help to bridge any emptiness or doubt you might have, but that’s not the real stuff. Pathos is a great smokescreen to make your own fears disappear … at least for some time. But isn’t that one of the most basic and essential challenges in life: to face your own fears? Your very own questions and doubts about life, love and the rest of the universe?

*repost 2003-12-01*

Too often we are distort ourselves into pleasing others to love us. The need to feel loved and accepted can make people do crazy stuff, because our ego doesn’t like to stand apart or has the strength to withstand social pressure. But the inner black hole can only be filled or dissolved by self love and self respect, something you can only give yourself - nobody else.

Almost every religion starts with the creation of the universe or the god(s) themselves: Jehova (Judaism), Ptah (egypt) or Brahma (Hinduism). Even the scientific view of the universe starts with creation: the big bang.

On a pure biological level we all posses the power to create new life by having sex. But even on a ‘personal’ cellular level we constantly recreate ourselfes and have ’sex’ by refreshing our body cells. Creation and Sex go hand in hand; every day and every second.

Many people say, that everything humans do has to do with sex and competition - even high art like literature or symphonies. I have to agree and disagree at the same time. YES, we all do and like art to some degree, because it’s the cosmic sex of creativity - but NO, we don’t just do it to compete for better chances in the genetic pool.

There is more to it.

Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his lecturing flow.

When you paint, write or just cook a great meal - and you are getting really deeply into it - you start to get into the Flow (here is a great book from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi about it). The Concept of Flow is a mixture between meditation, ecstasy and total concentration (the same could be said about sex as well).

The Flow is the power wave you ride when you create something, it’s like pure ecstasy during sex.

Creativity is even more: it’s exploration, reflection, association and play at the same time. Creativity is also like a pregnancy - a seed in your psyche slowly evolves, you nourish it, you feel the growing pain and at some point you need to give birth to your idea. The analogy goes even further: sometimes idea get a life on their own - and no longer belongs to you, but to the world.

So if according to the Bible God has created us in his image, then it makes perfect sense that we love creating stuff and that we love sex, because it’s the ultimate act of creation.

The atheist point of view is actually very similar: no life without creation. The universe uses a lot of time to constantly create new planets, solar systems, elements and even life like us. The universe is very creative and never stops doing it …

Creativity arouses us humans in many ways, new and creative ideas can be very ’sexy’. Working on a new sculpture or painting can be very demanding, but also very sexy, erotic, intimate and breath taking.

It might sound perverse when you hear stories about artists like Picasso who sometimes masturbated while drawing - but I personally understand this perfectly. Artists need the Eros of Creativity, the electricity, the flow and exchange - either with art or another person as well - it’s their way of life.

Picasso’s sexual drive is often deemed central to his art, yet relatively few people have seen the myriad paintings, drawings, engravings and sculptures in which he portrays variations on the sex act. Even today, American museums would probably shy from showing what Gertrude Stein prudishly (or was it excitedly?) called Picasso’s ‘dirty side.’ ‘Picasso Érotique’, a new exhibition here, now lifts the curtain.

That said, it would be inaccurate to view the show as a display of naughty pictures, even though some steamy engravings were kept in a locked room when they were first exhibited here in 1968. Rather, “Picasso Érotique” offers fresh insight into his creative process, above all the evolving role that sex played in his life and imagination, from the curiosity of early manhood through the unbridled passion of his middle years to the voyeurism of old age. - from here.

That is also the reason why you will always find a higher percentage of gay, lesbian and bisexual people in artistic circles - not just because sex is ‘free & easy’ in these groups, but because artists often see and accept beauty in others without gender barriers - and they are less afraid to explore the flow/attraction. (side note: but art is never an excuse for screwing around, ok?!)

So it comes as no surprise that the Greek Gods had their nine muses to go out kiss and inspire artists from all disciplines.

We all create, we all have sex and we all are touched by beauty. These are universal principles, you find them in science as well as many (all?) religions.

The Eros of Creativity is no excuse for perversion and lack of responsibility - BUT it is the universes (God’s or Nature’s) invitation to explore, experiment and express ourselves without shame and dogmas.

*repost from 17. December 2003*

Meditation is still trendy and cool - and gets even more acceptance in the western world. But why do people meditate? Often they join groups and classes without a religious context or spiritual goals. Do they meditate to get their minds off things or stress? Or simply to switch off? But what is the best reason to meditate? To find god? To find yourself? To find tranquillity? Or to find nothing at all?

So many spiritual and religious people expect a payback or rescue team from their favorite Gods for being ‘good’. But there are no angels out there to watch out for you. God’s gift to you is a brain and a heart that are very capable - they will save you if you are willing to use them.