Oh honey - just wait till the kids are gone - then I’ll get a divorce and party my brains out.

The possibilities of women have changed tremendously in the last 60 years.

Overall women have benefited the most from the sexual revolution and the new equality. Men lost their traditional "advantages" based on their gender - and they are less adaptable and flexible when it comes to our modern work environment and it’s "softer" requirements like team play, flexibility, communication, learning and emotional intelligence.

But women have also suffered from the new form of social fabric: they are now biggest number of single parents - responsible for raising and funding our kids.

The Pyramid is flipping

People between 35 and 45 are the most populous group in many western countries. (Click image to pop the pyramid.)

In recent decades the good old population pyramid has basically flipped 180° - and now we have more mature and old people in western societies than we have young ones. We are becoming grey societies. (By the way: you can get population pyramids for many countries here)

So the fortysomethings are the biggest group in the population right now.

Plus the longer life expectancy, single lifestyle and overall youth cult have made the fortysomethings the new players in town: they have money, they are still horny and active. And their grown up egos are much more neurotic and hungry for self gratification.

The most active consumer group here are mature women. Many of them now are shedding their kids, because they are grown up now. So they want to "party extra hard" and make up for all the time they were dedicated mothers and wives.

Plus the modern western cities are more streamlined for the new single lifestyle - and they are the majority now. Families used to "rule" the cities - but that has changed during the 90’s. It’s now single all the way - or better "serial monogamizers" (people who hop from one fast relationship to the next one).

So our cities are a huge playground for the mature ladies.

Pimp my Skin - or why the Beauty Industry loves fortysomething women

Does this pop video make me look old?

The beauty and fashion industry has long discovered this rich and often desperate clientele: the cream for the skin at forty, the pill for the rotten brain at forty, etc.

The message here is: you are still adorable, but you need a tune up. Albeit an expensive one.

Behind all this is the ugly face of infertility. All primary "beauty" spots - red lips, beautiful hair, smooth skin, wide eyes - are signs of health and therefore fertility. A good looking women is most of all a fertile women.

Forty is the Magic Age - the last call for babies. But it is also the age of a new form of competition: you are fading out of the beauty competition - you are no longer the hottest chick in town, you already show some defects and there is fresher meat on sale.

Our society has just developed a "mature concept" for beauty and sexuality, but overall we do not appreciate the beauty and wisdom of older ladies as they are. We only have "Venus" measurement: either you are a young fertile love goddess or you are not.

Our definition what’s hot or not is still deeply ingrained in our biological code: only healthy breeding material is sexy.

The MILF-Syndrome

Mature Bitches rule the Suburbs!

That brings us to the overall sexualization of age. Since Viagra was released the pressure was on - there was no longer an excuse for guys not too perform - so the ladies also had to joining the gray swingers club.

But the sexualization of mature women goes further: TV series like "Sex in the City" and "Desperate Housewives" are both part of the wider "MILF" syndrome (MILF = Mothers I’d like to fuck).

This is a new sex trend as well media frenzy: mature hot looking women who are oversexed and fuck anything that moves - plus the additional drama this behavior causes. Usually the before mentioned attributes are reserved for males. These MILFs know no taboos, they know no limits. They are the perfect sex partners.

So modern life restarts at 40 and a gray society needs to tell itself it’s still capable and interesting. It’s a mutual lie and effort to push the boundaries of age and dissolve old limits and taboos.

In a way it’s almost like the sexual egos of mature women are fighting against the menopause: "Look I still can get semen, I am still adorable! And with Science I am gonna kick your ass Mother Nature!"

The new Breeders on the Block

Pregnant at 40+ and loving it!

In the past women past the magic age of 40 were left alone, because they were heading straight for their menopause and were therefore uninteresting as breeding material. Just wait a few more years and these women are great grandmother material.

But thanks to science, overall better health and life expectancy breeding for women after 40 is now pretty normal. And many young women prefer postpone babies longer and longer, so 35+ mothers are becoming the norm in western societies instead or rare exceptions.

And breeding can now be outsourced to a "working womb" if necessary. All you need to do is freeze your eggs in the right age and "seed" them if you are ready and rich enough to have your own kids.

So science has helped to beat the biological clock in some aspects and women can now have babies - apart from the very popular game of international adoption - in almost any age.

Guardian: Pregnancy among over-40s reaches ‘record high’

Let’s get some Sex in the City - and expand our current idea about society

Let’s celebrate mature female consumerism and neurotic obsessions with the perfect wedding!

Conclusions?

In some way mature women are now doing the same what mature guys have been doing for ages: get out and have some fun with younger flesh. The TV shows are mostly about the usual "Relationship Porn" we love to watch (and stuff like Big Brother is the ultimate Social Porn anyway).

But the big picture is more complex: our aging societies are trying to cope with age and longevity. Behind all the modern media hype are serious questions: How do we live our lives NOT as passive grandmothers and grandfathers?

Most western people won’t have kids or grandkids when they cross the 40’s. There will be no families to fall back on - and often not even relationships - so we need new ways to socialize, form relationships on every level and "grow".

Why wait for death when you are just 40 - when your life expectancy is beyond 80? This is just the middle of your life Darling!

The old pensioner is gone - the next generation of "oldies" will be more demanding, self centered and active. Science will try to keep them "awake" and active much longer. And since our population pyramid is so skewed we need mature people to work longer and harder.

That is why the old cliches about mature women (and men) are under attack and are currently reformulated (even on trivial levels): It’s ok to have fun beyond 40, it’s ok to fuck beyond 40 and it’s probably necessary to have kids beyond 40.

That is why our societies needs to be open minded and explore about new "phases" in our lives: start a new life with 40 or a family. Since we all will last beyond the age of 70 or 80 it’s important to allow ourselves to have many "phases" in one life - and not being condemned to one "path" one has chosen in her or his twenties or thirties.

Watching the underclass, the addicted and the stupid getting busted. Doesn’t that make you feel superior?

It is amazing how many shows there are on TV that deal with justice, law and order. It doesn’t matter if it’s reality TV like Cops or fiction like those many CSI shows (all these different offspring of the same formula are a phenomenon in itself). Each country seems to have it own mixture of court TV, forensic documentaries, lawyer dramas and car chases …

In all these shows one topic prevails: the law wins, the bad guys are caught and punished.

One would think that we would want to watch something relaxing in the evening or ignore other people’s problems - instead murder and minute details of investigation seem to be more interesting than some simpler forms of entertainment.

I’ll give you blood, you give me better ratings!

But behind all this is our natural (?) desire for social porn: to participate in what’s going on and staying informed about the newest gossip of the global tribe. It doesn’t matter if it’s a real event like O.J. Simpsons trial or such trivial crap like Paris Hilton going to jail for being a drunken pussy. We want to be informed and we want to ‘relate’ - and it doesn’t matter if it’s a petty criminal or a superstar - or even fictional character.

It doesn’t matter if it’s other humans killing each other or making love to each other - we love to watch and learn intimate secrets behind it all.

But there is another layer to this lust for justice. It’s a double sided affair of the same mechanism of ‘violence’. We all have been victims of social, emotional or even criminal violence - so we want justice, revenge or just the reassurance that we will receive justice and protection. But deep in our fantasies we are also thieves and murderers - we all had the impulse / moments in our life’s to cause mayhem to others out of anger or a simple case of road rage.

Science and bad scripts to the rescue - we bring justice on a weekly basis.

So on one side we want protection from violence - but we also love to explore and participate when others were violent or even killed. For a few minutes we can dive into the mindset of the killer, the victims and the justice system - and compare it to our own inner world. It a mental carnival in which we can play every role and explore their good and bad sides while munching potato chips.

Scientists have shown many times that we mentally and emotionally emphatize on a deep level with other people - no matter if we watch something happening in reality (like driving by a traffic accident and everybody gloats) or a fictional event (we cry when made up characters die or model our lives on their behavior).

Especially in our hysterical media world plus criminals and terrorists at each corner we welcome ’security’, ‘justice’ and ‘protection’ - even when it’s just artificial. Soothing our minds is almost as important as real justice, protection or security.

So watching violence and how others deal with it or are doing terrible stuff helps us to cope with violence in our own lives and shows us new, different or frightening ways to deal with this topic.

But real crime and real violence is no ‘game’ to explore. Especially in fictional crime the dead always return in another series and lethal injuries can be overcome with a good script. Even court TV, recreations or documentaries do not really show the blood, pain and horror or real crimes. So can’t really emphatize, we always only get a filtered nicer version of reality.

Even celebrity victims are pretty dead after being murdered by their celebrity husbands.

Before I finish the empathy aspect of the Justice Porn: it is amazing that we do not really hunger for justice. In many fictional and real stories we are rather fascinated by the dark and evil characters. Some murderers have become celebrities or have a weird cult following. It is more of a social consensus that the bad guys have to loose, not because we love justice, but because we don’t want to be on the receiving end of a bad persons action without protection and the moral high ground against ‘evil doers’.

Since we all can relate to pain and suffering we all agree / empathize that we don’t want to suffer from it. This has nothing to do with justice, this is simply egoism and self preservation.

It’s good to be the king …

One last aspect is the God-complex in all of this. Sitting there and watching the crime like God watches masturbating sinners - we ’see and know’ more than the real or unreal protagonists. We are TV Gods, we know it all - and we also judge the people in the stories and events we watch on screen.

It’s truly pornography of power for the powerless. It’s an illusion of power and simpler version of sitting on a jury bench yourself (just without any responsibility). Most of all ‘all of our couch potato opinions’ don’t have any serious consequences. The law and justice are thankfully no longer bound to popular opinions or people’s anger and rage - at least in most countries.

And that’s a good thing. Instead of ropes for lynching and stones for stonings give them TV.

Just watching and controlling all these Non-Americans …

The US has over 700 military installations worldwide. In contrast to that India opened it’s FIRST foreign military base in 2006 in lovely Tajikistan (do you know where that is?). China has not a single foreign military base. And on a funny side note the even lovelier country of Kyrgyzstan has a Russian and an American military base.

Not many countries can afford to keep military bases in other nations - and not many nations are willing to have foreign soldiers in their soil. (List of military bases by country)

Many American bases go way back to WWII like those big ones in Japan, Britain and Germany, but also to the cold war like in Turkey, Korea or Spain. Russia has closed down most of it’s bases since the end of the Soviet Union - most of the remaining ones are based in former parts of the Communist Empire. Britain and France have kept some bases in some former Colonies.

But nobody spends as much money, influence and hardware as the USA. Read this excellent article Chalmers Johnson on garrisoning the planet to get some deeper insights.

Comrades: We already rule Wal-Mart and Africa! And America can’t finance any war without us. There is no need for a stinking war …

Faced with such a staggering difference in the balance of power and obsession with keeping the upper hand - is anyone surprised that the US is accused of Imperialism? During the Cold War it made sense for NATO to keep a huge network of bases around the world, but this war is over.

And neither Bin Laden nor China or Russia will be contained by military force.

For terrorists military bases are excellent advertising for American Imperialism and they also make yummy targets to blow up. China understands that going to war is stupid and is way too busy to build up it’s already huge industrial and financial muscles - that is why the US is lending money from the Communists to finance it’s war in Iraq. And finally Russia - who also no longer needs a huge military presence anyway, because it can use it’s energy reserves as much more effective weapon.

Got some change for me Dude? I need to buy some bullets … this whole war thing is pretty expensive you know.

Imperial overstretch can destroy great Nations (here are two great essays related to that: part 1 and part 2). The American infrastructure, social fabric, educational system and manufacturing base is already showing serious signs of underdevelopment. And it’s mighty military has huge recruitment and moral problems.

The military industrial complex is destroying it’s own base. But the rich and mighty can always move on to another country and new wars to fight.

More? No-Bases.org

After many years if waiting and technical development video is finally sweeping the Internets. It’s not just download little bits here and there, but massive streaming, downloading complete movies and ‘blogcasting’. We are used to get small video clips in our emails or watch important as well as ‘funny’ stuff via Websites like Crooks & Liars as well as YouTube.

The BlogCasting is a sort of Clip-O-Mania which has also grabbed the mainstream media’s attention: news shows include Internet clips as well as those many funny video shows. Videos of people torturing each other were cell phone videos, a lot of ‘funny’ stuff is from cheap camcorders. The video revolution is in full swing.

Since the medium is still part of the message those short clips will only ‘deepen’ the short attention deficit disorder of modern people. Since the introduction of mass media in form of TV and radio the speed and visual presentation of ‘content’ has increased. If you watch a newscast or report from the 1960’s you be surprised how slow and static it is. Today’s presentation hardly leaves any space for thinking. Everything is presented in ever faster image sequences, booming voices and action music. This is no longer just the stupid idea of edutainment, but actiontainment.

The faster, the more impressive and the shorter - the better.

A new generation of clones taking over the world!

Similar to the inability of many modern students to understand or write complex texts this will Clip-O-Mania will contribute to the ignorance of complexity. Contrary to popular believe I say that modern youngsters are NOT stupid, but they simply lack the training and challenges to train their brains to ’solve’ complex mental tasks as well to train patience.

As much as I like gaming myself almost ALL digital adventures only train a very limited set of challenges, which only get harder with every level but not more diversified or complex. The effects of hours of videogaming are very similar to brainwashing, because the same mental paths / messages are hammered deeper and deeper into the brain. Playing is meant to explore different approaches and experiment with different combinations. Videogames lack the variety - they present a very limited set of elements and solutions - under a huge pressure to proceed and win. Similar to the speedculture of actiontainment and videoclubs there is little time and mental space left to develop your own ideas and grow at your own pace.

Slowness has it’s own merits as well as patience and complexity.

Newspapers have a hard time in the digital age. The readership numbers are sinking while the Internet sucks away their audience. Will they die?

TV and Radio already were serious competitions - why didn’t these inventions kill off the Newspapers a long time ago? Because there was still some space left for newspapers to fill.

But the real killer of Newspaper is their own ignorance. They - like the Recording Industry - ignored all the predictions and than trends way too long. Instead of going with the changed market they tried to fight it.

Today the they are all online: New York Times, Telegraph, L.A. Times, International Herald Tribune and The Independent. Most of these online editions are brilliant - constantly experimenting with new ways to report and engage the readers - something that was long forgotten in the print editions.

But competing with the information overkill on the net is hard. Buying several international newspapers is cumbersome and sometimes hard to do. But on the web the they all compete just a mouse click away from each other.

I often prefer newspaper website over other news sites like from TV channels (like CNN or MSNBC - and even the BBC). Their reporting is often deeper, their writers provide smarter and better commentaries. I would only compare Keith Olbermann as the only TV journalist able to write and perform longer commentaries that can match most print essayists.

The Revolution of the Bloggers has shown that people want good writers on the net. But they also want interaction and community style feedback loops. If newspapers can find their way back to their audiences they should survive in the 21st century …

Anything born in the last 25 to 30 years is called Millennials - because they are the bulk of the workforce of the new Millennium.

Raised by overcaring soccer moms and freeform hippie parents, still living at home with 30 and a very pampered bunch.

This generation is the special needs generation, that needs constant attention, constant gratification and loads of ‘creative space’ for their mostly empty brains. Most of all they need constant stimulation to stay on the job. Even when they work their own jobs their parents call employers and challenge reviews and their salary - like they called their teachers and professors in school or university before. This is overprotective individualism gone wrong.

My Mom said it’s oke to show off my skills …

I am actually very happy that now the first studies and articles about the awkwardness of this generation are coming out - because it confirms my experience in many companies working with these ‘youngsters’.

I guess every generation says that the next one is softer, stupider and more pampered. This is mostly true, since most kids in western countries had the LUCK to grow up in ever better living conditions, education, spoiled consumerism and a highly expanding ‘fun culture’. It’s better to work your Nintendo instead of working the coal mines.

Classical Hero figure transformed into a multimedia cash cow.

Kids and young adults  have become highly targeted consumer groups since the 1950’s. Youth culture didn’t exist before that. A total media sphere for kids and young adults didn’t exist before the 1970’s. And total consumerism didn’t arrive before the 1980’s. The sheer amount of media archetypes, lifestyle choices, trends, weird and cool stuff only aimed at youngster is incredible and aggressively enforced by companies.

Plus we are now experiencing the total ‘digitization of social behavior’ since the arrival of cheap cell phones, broadband and social networks on the intranets.

Yes, kids have spent less and less time doing sports or experiencing nature in the last 25 years. They have spent more time shopping and in front of a screen.

On the Internet everyone can see your IQ. Thanks for sharing!

The attitudes and goals have changed. Hardly anyone wants to be an Astronaut, Pilot or other Hero figure these days. Too much effort, too little coolness.

Most teen idols are either ‘human products’ invented by companies or the media like lifestyle choices like ‘Gangster Rapper’ or ‘Super Model’. Shows like Big Brother and the whole mechanism of media whoring by being a slut (I am looking at you Paris and Perez Hilton) shows kids only that you don’t need ANY ’skillz’ to be a gazillionaire.

There has never been a Generation that grew up in in such a safe environment and with so much constant distraction. Life is no longer just about the ‘basics’ to them - they want more, more and more - and they are used getting it without much effort apart from bitching.

The Queen of the Millennials.

It is GOOD that less and less kids grow up experiencing hunger, war and poverty - like still way too many kids do in Africa, Asia, Russia, South America and the Middle East. The global society overall is getting richer. Teenager in Tehran have as often facial surgery as in LA. Millennials all over the world grew up with MTV, Madonna, McDonalds and Mobiles. Theirs styles and attitudes are very similar.

The are now enjoying the fruits of the war and post war generations, the new creative and sexual worlds of the hippie revolution - and the blatant consumerism of the Reagan years.

Apart from being nice, being loved, being entertained, able to shop and fuck something this generation hardly has an agenda. It is hardly a political generation - apart from passively ’saving the earth’ - probably by shopping Al Gore T-Shirts and blogging about it.

I am oke, you are oke. Together we watch DVDs about saving the Earth or pirate it from the Intranets!

Unlike the Hippies or Yuppies they don’t know the hunger for change or power. As long as it’s cool and entertaining anything goes. If angry give them a promotion, a hug or a Amazon.com coupon and they are happy again.

Without the absence of real dangers and challenges any human being softens up and relaxes - and after over 60 years of peace and prosperity in western nations there are hardly any direct challenges left. How can you feel like REALLY doing something, when you can stuff your face with organic burgers, surf the web on your iPhone and travel to India for Yoga?

It’s all so nice and pink. Life is almost like being with mom.

More: Wikipedia on Generation Y and read this Managers Guide to Millenials

Angst is the main reasons why we fail many tasks. Simply being scared can reduce the smartest and most competent humans to a shaky nothing.

But why is fear itself so terrible? Because it ‘kills’ our capability to think straight.

Our brains have so called lower and higher brain functions - based on in which part of the brain they are situated. (Click here to read a very well done introduction to the brain).

Our Stem Brain is the most automatic and stupidest part of the brain. It controls the (survival) reflexes/instincts and acts first (instead of ‘thinking’). Fear is not only a mental reaction (meaning it’s not just firing up your neurons to work harder), but also a chemical reaction. Adrenaline is pumped into our system and all muscles get ready for some action. Your heart and lungs start working harder too - pumping more oxygen into your system for extra power. And your brain actually speeds up thinking in dangerous situation - that is why fearful and dangerous situations are often described with "and time stood still".

Fight or flight is fears dedicated motto - on a most primitive survival level. That is why the body and mind go into overdrive to get yourself out of the danger zone if fear kicks in. But modern life is mostly social or work related stress. We are no longer faced with lions hunting us down or surviving in nature.

All these physical preparations for Fight-or-Flight happen before your higher brain functions can kick in: take control and really THINK.

To deal with fear, calming yourself down and really work the problem is hard work for your brain and has to be trained. An untrained brain simply goes into survival mode and acts on reflexes (which can be sometimes good in physically dangerous situations).

It takes some effort and training to learn to deal with fear - so your higher brain functions get the upper hand and you can think before you act - thus controlling your natural instincts and reflexes.

Let’s train da brain …

Here are some pointer of training yourself to deal with fear and stress:

1. Mental Awareness: Unless you realize that you are in a state or fear or extreme stress you can’t act upon it. Some people literally go blank when they are in stress or fear. You have to learn to stay aware and realize that you are full of fear.
2. Physical Awareness: Once you get hold of your brain you should check how your body is doing. There is a huge difference between a little faster heart beat or totally shaking with fear. Or even pissing yourself because of fear. Some people even can’t see straight. So check your breathing, heart rate, sight, shakiness, stomach for fear syndromes. Realize how excited and stressed you already are to determine the effects of adrenaline and stress on yourself.
3. Threat Assessment: In a physically threatening situation your body might have already acted (like pulling your hand out of fire), but in many modern fearful and stressful situations this is useless. You don’t kill your boss  (fight) or run away (flight), just because he gives you an evaluation. And there is no reason to shot your Laptop, because your Windows update fucked up. So wrap your head around the problem and see beyond the fear.
4. Calming Down: You should instantly start to cool down your system. Take control of your breathing - stop any hyperventilating if you are not planning to Fight or Flight. Also get a grip on your posture, don’t crouch like a ‘frightened coward’, but get upright for self esteem and and better control. Really tell yourself to calm down, realize that you are still alive and able to deal with the problem. It is important to understand that the Adrenaline in your blood will take some time to go away. So don’t expect total control in a few seconds.
5. Switching to higher Thinking: Our brains are magnificent, but they also need some time to get working. It’s no use to stress yourself into thinking straight - more stress doesn’t help. Try to give yourself a mental break before engaging into problem solving - if the situation allows it. So step back or take yourself OUT of the stressful situation, before confronting it. If you can’t ‘escape’ physically, than give yourself a short mental vacation: thinking of something nice, a great moment in your life or someone who loves you can calm you down and give you that positive ‘breather’ you might need. Sidenote: many people like to stress themselves, because they think they can think better under stress (no pun intended). This is not true: you brain is simply more active and you experience yourself ‘on fire’. It’s like hitting your thumb with a hammer to feel it better.
6. Concentrate on the Problem: Our minds need input to be creative and come up with a solution (see also this article about problem solving on Wikipedia). So learn to analyze problems - don’t focus on the fear or what scares you. Also don’t get into an anger mode if something just shocked or scared you. Anger is as much a ‘mind killer’ as fear. The easiest way to deal with problems is cutting them down to ‘acceptable chunks’. One step at a time. Later when your mind is working again you can assemble the ‘full horror’ in it’s complexity - but for starters CUT IT DOWN. Dealing with smaller chunks will yield faster results and give you back some calm and self esteem for actually solving something.

Why are there no fitness centers to train your psyche and mind to have more endurance and dexterity?

Those are a few simple pointers to understand yourself and what kind of effects fear has on your mind.

Don’t be afraid of fear - the mind killer - you mind can be trained to deal with it and solve the real problem afterwards.  

The Internet is Dante’s new inferno - a Hell Hole without escape. We will never be able to watch all videos on YouTube, click all Stumbles, dig all links on Digg and enjoy all the Billion image on Flickr … not to speak of terabytes of terabytes of links that haven’t been officially classified as cool.

So is your thirst for more only a hunger for entertainment, stimulation for your own thoughts or simply boredom?

Overall a dedicated surfer will encounter the same topics, meme and styles again and again. How many cute dogs will really touch you? How many times do you want to read that George Bush is a disaster? How many times do you want to see mad people filming themselves doing funny, but stupid things?

Are we all became pavlovian Dogs - reacting with the right reflexes? With a nice ‘Awwww’ for the nice doggy. With a ‘Buuuh’ for stupid politicians. With a ‘Cooooool, Dude!’ when people try to kill themselves in a entertaining way.

You are not what you click, you are what you do.

Do something real.

The Internet is all about communication. It’s first great breakthroughs were eMail, Chats and Newsgroups - places and mechanism for people to talk to each other, share stories and moments. The Web - with it’s rich multimedia mix of text, images, animations videos and loads of interaction came later.

The first Internet years were pure ‘Text’ - no fancy graphics, no weird interfaces, no flash movies. It was a writers paradise - and boy did people work that keyboard. That is why all those handy acronyms were invented in the first place - because they were used a lot and people got sick and tired of typing it all out. It was intended to speed up the conversation and develop some simple forms of ‘communication blocks and codes’ to ritualize reoccurring situations like ‘ROFL’ or ‘ttyl’.

eMail and chats were already different from formal letters and meeting in the office. But people tried to keep grammar, expression and context intact. It was fascinating to exchange loads of text & context in real time or almost instantly. eMail was like a speed drug for communication and brainstorming. Communication processes that often took days and weeks could be shortened to seconds, minutes or just a few hours. Brains were on fire.

This trend was pushed even further with the cell phone revolution and the invention of the web - which brought texting and web surfing to the masses. Further down the road broadband and multimedia transformed the pure ‘text-only’ online cosmos into a ‘disney-compatible consumer experience’.

Happiness is more then just an emoticon …

Websurfers and companies alike tried to make it short and sweet. Online portals developed the art of content management and squeezing as much tiny headlines and articles on their homepages. Instant messaging and texting on cell phones was the next craze - conversations were chopped up into even smaller bits. The old text emoticons were immediately translated into graphical ones - and a flood of new acronyms and Internet ‘talk’ took over the world.

The use of acronyms and rituals become even deeper entrenched in Internet communication - and it swapped over into the mainstream. Suddenly you could see web URLs in advertising and Internet slang jumped into ‘meatspace’.

But it also ritualized the always on lifestyle and communication even further. Sending jokes, images, videos, URLs or short blurbs became a substitute for describing yourself, your emotions or what you had experienced in YOUR OWN WORDS. Instead of self expression we used ‘blocks of code’ or ‘canned emotions’ to reflect ourselves - but not EXPRESSING our own state of mind.

I love your pixelation!

Instead of encouraging someone with a personal note - we send a picture of a cute doggy. Instead of saying how we feel about a sad moment with some nuances we send a sad emoticon. Instead of describing our vacation to our friends we send them a link of our Flickr gallery of snaps without context.

In all these cases we get shorter and shorter in our self expression. By breaking up complex situations or moments into simple symbols or unrelated bits we loose the complexity. The complexity of what has happened. The complexity of what we think and feel about it. And the complexity of different layers of self expression. Instead of many colour we mix ourselves with words, sentences, long expression - we use static rubberstamps of self expression. Easy and simple to use - but limited in their emotional and mental range - and shallow compared what really might be inside of you.

When you are on MySpace Google will make sure you have no privacy … 

Especially the new world of social networking is ’shrtr’. Instead of messages you send ‘funny’ games or emoticons. Instead of telling a person you like them or you ignore them you ‘rate’ them by giving them stars or declaring them your friend. Symbolism over true friendly dedication or exchange. Instead of socializing we extend our social networks by inviting the highest ranking and rated members of the database. Instead of getting to know someone and exchanging personal stories we explore their personal links, lists of favorite websites and online galleries - plus we Google their names and see if something nasty comes up.

It is no longer about what you have to say and what you are - it’s all about the right links, ranking and cool ’statement blocks’ others can recognize as greatness. You link the right political articles on your blog or stumble, you know the funniest videos, one big celebrity is your friend on MySpace.

I have friends - therefore I am! 

The art and exploration of yourself through self expression and deep thoughts has been substituted by the cleverness of self linking and self promoting. The Google PageRank of your homepage, profile or profile has become a social indicator.

The art of making friends with your personality and what you have to say and stand for. Instead of exploring one’s own inner world and building it by thinking and expressing it - we only reflect only tiny aspects of our self via links, phrases and other people’s work like videos and images.

The modern phrase and lifestyle statement ‘express yourself’ - which can be seen in so many commercials and new age books - is a challenge. It is hard work and it is a personal and social effort to express yourself, to understand yourself, to think for yourself and define yourself.

A complex personality and emotional depth can only come from complex self expression. You are the builder of your self …

Dedicated to Judefa - who inspired me to write this.

I think mass media rightfully portrays the net as full of pr0n. Usually the discussion centers around porn mongers, porn sellers, porn buyers, pedophiles and sexual predators - mostly male and eager to get the easy kick.

But who talks of webbased sluttism like ‘flickr’s finest females‘, suicidegirls.com and those many webcam whores? These - often very young girls and woman - are not forced by pimps or poverty to sell themselves. Many do it for personal kicks and some extra luxury money.

All the old concepts of pornography and prostitution fail when confronted with webbased slutism: there is no physical contact involved, the woman do it themselves, there is a lot of technology involved and so much of it is for free or very little money for the buyers. Most interesting of all is the female networking: woman recommending other ’slut friends’ or running whole networks all by themselves.

As much as I am for a liberated sexuality and female empowerment but often unlimited ‘hotness’ smells of stupidity and a very egoistic, greedy or even obsessed mindset. And you hardly can call that liberated, but rather a case for serious therapy.

Everybody can be famous with a good ‘leaked’ porn video.

I also have noticed a growing social pressure for web exhibitionism for young people (MySpace.com is only the current tip of the iceberg). Many online communities and single sites over the years have developed into ‘hot zones’ instead of ‘just’ social meeting places. I guess ‘leaked’ videos by big stars like Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton and absolute nobodies like ‘Tammy‘.

I guess the sexual revolution is not eating it’s children, but well connected grandchildren. The pressure to public slutism, to look cool and sexy and do horny stuff has risen to new levels. Slutism on the web or mass media are hard to ignore, neither are the gazillion of young girls who get plastic surgery at an alarmingly early age.

Sexuality should be explored, but it should be a personal and intimate thing. Especially when you are young. So ladies go and explore yourself and your talents, but don’t ‘bless’ the rest of the web with it.

More? Love the spoof Paris Hilton Video

Again and again in recent years the Muslim world exploded. Once again pride is more important then sanity. Once again people say ‘we have to respect religion’. Once again flags are burned and artists are threatened. Once again the west doesn’t ‘respect’ Islam.

I am sick and tired of this - and I guess this is also a growing feeling here in Europe from what I have read in European news and blogs.

Sure we Europeans have a long and troubled past with the middle east - because of religion and later colonialism. France and Britain have retreated from the region and the Arabs got to run their own countries. But the cold war and oil once again drew in other superpowers and foreigners. The current trouble spots Iran (read about operation Ajax) and Iraq (more about the troubled history) are a result of foreign intervention, especially by the US. It is a big historic joke that the US tries to bring democracy to a region where it’s oil interests kept totalitarian regimes in power for so long.

Another great success of American foreign policy

Overall Europe continued to trade and support these tyrants and bad regimes as well. Nobody protested against Saddam as long as he was in power, nobody really cared in Europe. But we continued to allow exiles into the EU. Especially London and Paris were full of middle east exiles and rich visiting Sheiks as well. Ayatollah Khomeini planned and executed the Iranian revolution from France. Many other radical islamists went to Europe and stayed underground - because their home countries prosecuted for various reason. Over time many Muslim communities sprang up all over Europe: Turks, Kurds, Iranians, Iraqis and many more. Many of them could live here while their home countries were at war. They were allowed to run businesses, build Koran schools and mosques.

Riots of the underprivileged people are nothing new.

Sure there are a lot ’second class citizen’ ghettos in Spain, France, Britain and Germany. But poverty not only hits illegal immigrants, but also second generation Muslims and so called native citizens. The french riots last year showed that integration isn’t perfect, but poverty and lack of jobs is a problem for almost everyone in Europe and not just a ‘tactic’ against Muslims.

Modern Europe was always interested to see the middle east grow and get on it’s feet. Sure, there was always a certain amount of guilt, because of the colonial past. We also tried to forget about the terrible crusades and the long history of wars between Muslims and Christian Europe. Nobody here in Europe would seriously consider to recapture Jerusalem or Istanbul - instead many hope that Turkey will join the EU one day. The EU has supported many peace initiatives, supported for example the Palestinians although they blew up the Olympic Games here in Munich. Europe was always more interested in long term talks, understanding and trade. We called this soft power in contrast to hard military invention - or in current terms old European ‘weaselism’ against the new American century.

European tourism to the middle east before the Age of Enlightenment

But still there is religion and huge amount of anger against Europe or any infidel in the Muslim world. It doesn’t matter if we sent help to Iran or Pakistan after earthquakes or pay for the Palestinian elections (so radical Hamas can win them in a democratic way). For the radicals and uneducated masses any reason is good enough to burn flags (never though I see a Danish flag on fire) and threaten Europe with bombs again.

The attacks in Spain and London are certainly ‘understandable’, because these countries supported the war on Iraq - which a huge amount of Europeans despised and tried to stop. But any ‘understanding’ stopped with murders like against Theo van Gogh or the bombing of tourists.

The current Holy Anger against some old cartoons from Denmark show how Europe and the Middle East have really progressed. Europe has left behind religions fanaticism and developed stable democratic societies - we are currently trying to transcend the nation state. Yes, Europe has progressed better and more since the middle ages then the Middle East.

House of Saud - power, sand and oil - but no democracy in sight.

Yes, you can call me an European cultural snob any day - I would be proud to wear that title! I prefer the rule of law over tribal loyalty. I prefer equal rights over woman in bee keeper suits. I prefer democratic elections over Kings, Sheiks, Mullahs, Royal Families and old hereditary or religious traditions. I prefer a freedom of press and disgusting jokes over Fatwas against Artists and Newspaper Editors - or raging protests against a simple beauty contest (yep, that was in Nigeria - but still the same frame of mind). Give me a corrupt Silvio Berlusconi over a President Ahmadinejad or terror leader like Yassir Arafat.

A ‘mature’ society must be able to cope with different ideas, even insults and threats in a civilized manner. That includes any nation. Burning the Danish flag because one of it’s newspaper published a stupid cartoon is rather strange. Threatening to bomb and kill people over a stupid joke is simply daft.

Kemal Atatürk showed the world that a modern country and Islam can exist side by side.

While Europeans demonstrate against wars in the Middle East and against Terrorism - the people in the Arab world seem more to protest for war and revenge - and support even terrorism. Still many Muslims dream about recreating the old Caliphate. But dreaming such dreams of old empires and conquest are out of date. Hitlers ‘Lebensraum’ idea didn’t work, neither did the communist dream of a united workers planet.

I am sure there are many people in the Middle East and Muslims who only want peace and do not support radical ideas - but it’s about time these people start to show us that they are in control and support a peaceful global society.

Muslims have to give up their conspiracy theories about Europe (and to a certain degree America) and start building their own stable societies and economies. Most of all they have to take responsibility and don’t hide behind your religion to build a better world for everyone. Once Damascus and Baghdad were on top of the world and leading centers of wisdom and enlightenment, highly tolerant and global trade powers. My dear Muslims, if you want that to happen again, then start to teach your kids, build up your economies and use your brains instead of guns and explosives.

*repost from 2006*

Is it maybe my age? Or is it because I am unable to form proper relationships? But I am getting less and less pussy in my life. This is not a complaint about being sexless, but rather without some recharging contact to lovely females …

Sex is certainly nice and exciting, although I find the pure act itself rather boring and uninspiring. Orgasm is usually quicker achieved without third party support. Sure, one can look out for new kicks, like a little bit perversion on the side, drugs or mind boggling experiments (like fucking in an exploding space shuttle).

But I am hungry for something else …

I spent quite some time on personal sex and sensual culture, by doing Tantra, massage and yoga. Which is good. It’s great to know your heart chakra from your ass, as well being able to know for yourself if you feel horny or simply true love and affection for another human being. This is all very helpful. Thank you so much Mr. Insight.

But knowing stuff is one thing - now for the practical part. Already during my first Tantra days I had quite a hard time finding women who understood this new ‘thing’, being able to cope with a so called ‘emotionally grown up male’. Since I have overcome the snobbish esoteric desire to heal women with my holy penis (or Lingam as the Tantrist call the sausage bit), there is now a lot of time to experience a nice flow of energy and sexuality between a lovely Shakti and me (the so called Shiva). I am not asking for a cosmic orgy every night or the supreme priestess of Yoni in my life, just a bit understanding and tenderness beyond the old in & out mechanism.

This is not tantric snobbism. I am just a firm believer that lovemaking is a set skills, that goes way beyond a simple erection or wetness and some Uhhhs and Ahhhs.

Love technique is a pure set of physical sex skills, to know your own and your partners anatomy, erroneous zones and the effect on hormones and excitement on the human body (and side effects to the mind and emotional side as well - more of that later). Also included is knowledge about how to operate your genitals and pleasure tools, as well as the effects of different positions. In later stages you can add all sorts of games, operation of external pleasure tools and drugs as well.

The next big area is your sexual psyche, how the human mind and emotions interact with sexual energies. Now this is quite a task, but a very fulfilling one. This is were we can learn to be more open, to heal or wounds of love and learn to show and give true affection. Since sex ‘lives’ very close to our egos, there is a lot of potential for conflict, fear, hunger and madness. To master your sex psyche means mostly to confront your hungry sex maniac ego. Me! Me! Me!

For some people the last area of sex magic or spirituality is the most exciting, because they expect some sort of Steven Spielberg effects while making love or instant enlightenment by tantric penetration. Or they simply watched to much advertising bullshit.

An energetic as well as spiritual exchange always happens while making sex/love. If you have read all tantric literature in the world or not. This is more about to learn how to use these energies consciously, instead of an unaware and animalistic level (which is also useful). This is about exchange with your partner, weaving a carpet of love and energy that goes way beyond the satisfaction of an physical orgasm. It’s a deep experience that has a more lasting effect on your psyche on different levels: your ego will feel very happy about all that deep attention it received, your body is humming with energy, your soul is touched on an intimate level, that hardly exist in everyday life.

Let’s go back to my tiny ego problems …

I shed my biggest tears about sensual deprivation. I want to be touched and massaged in a fulfilling way. Once again this is an area where I did some workshops, loads of massage exchanges (with people from different massage ‘traditions’) and of course energy work. In the age of consumer Ayuveda and global esoterica, it seems very hard to find people to celebrate such a basic human ‘thing’: to touch and be touched in a nice way without any sexual drive behind it.

What drives me nuts, is that so called ‘normal’ people have such a hard time giving and receiving a simple pleasure as touching from someone else. It’s always an exclusive thing, just reserved for the one and only true partner or lover.

What a poor and limited concept.

I guess before we ever reach the stage of universal love, we need to explore the universal touch first. If you are afraid of simply touching someone in a pleasant and friendly way, how can you open your heart & mind for compassion or even love for the whole universe?

*repost 2003-09-13*

Life is harsh when you kick start the human spirit.

Humankind has spent a long time worshipping gods - since the modern Cro-magnon appeared and kicked the Neanderthal out of existence. One of the main difference between us and our ancestors is our imagination and therefore adaptability. No other ancestor started language, cave paintings or complex cultures.

But our imagination is also our greatest enemy. Where we lacked knowledge we invented ‘things’ to fill the gaps. So in shock and awe about nature we invented spirits, ghosts and gods to explain thunder, death and a lot of other annoying things.

Me Artist! Me Paint! Me Talk to Horsy Spirit! Me Shaman! Bow to me!

As our mental capabilities expanded so did our cultures, language and religions. If you look at the history of religions you also see how their concepts and liturgy evolved in complexity. But the human intellect is an amazing thing - and once our basic civilization was established smarter heads started to questions the gods themselves (like Epicurus).

They already concluded that nature is everything and that the gods are nothing. Even things like the atom were discussed long before they had the means to research it’s existence. Human imagination can work far beyond your cultural and technological limits.

But religion also proved to be a great tool over power - and rulers always like to have a divine backing. The people can ruled much easier if their leaders are in favor with the gods - not matter how dubious those connections are. And almost all cultures have creations myths that make THEM the chosen ones. For example the Japanese track themselves back to the sun goddess Amaterasu. I personally like the imagination and complexity of Hinduism. You hardly find a more colorful universe of gods.

The Enemies of my Religion are also our Enemies. Let’s crush them, because we are the Chosen ones …

As religion is an attempt to explain the universe (and therefore a search for the ultimate truth) it leads to science. Almost all early European scientist were dedicated Christians, who were VERY curious how god managed to run the whole show. Too bad that they discovered that the old stories of all religions weren’t true: the earth was neither the center of the universe nor was it formed out of a slain giants body.

But parallel to the myths of religion (and fairy tales) we humans discovered spirituality, our own psyche, the secrets of our minds and a new love for the beauty of the universe. Almost all major religions have their smaller departments dedicated to more serious spiritual paths - which are often more demanding and more abstract then the normal liturgy for the common follower. A truely dedicated lifestyle of a Yogi or Jesuit priest is NOT everyone - it’s very demanding. And people are unwilling to really give everything for their gods. Self preservation is usually stronger then religion.

Are you a true follower of your God(s)?! Spiritual nakedness and Yogi tea are not for everybody you know …?!

Life - the last twenty thousand years - was quite harsh to humans. Simply getting enough food was tough enough. Life was always very unfair and scary. Religion also helped to cope with fear and survival - tight rules and rituals helped tribes to survive and unite under a common banner/purpose. Religion also helped us to ‘organize’ power and hierarchies.

Religion helped us to survive and was one of the first components of our cultures. But culture will continue to evolve - even the evolution of ideas is pretty unstoppable.

Many people say that science is the true enemy of the gods or any religion. But no - our cultural evolution is the true ‘enemy’ (if you can speak in such terms anyway).

Cultural evolution brings not only full stomachs, but a separation of powers, the rule of the law, a more mutual sharing of technologies, education, medical supplies and science.

In the early 1500s European Christianity was becoming more and more aware of those ‘other’ religions and world views - simply because travel and trade was coming back to roman standards. In a monotheistic religion/society it’s much more shocking to hear that there is an alternative to just the one ‘true’ god. Polytheistic societies never had that problem to such an extend - they could cope with (just) another god …

The same Country and same God - three different groups fighting to the Death. A bit odd isn’t it?!

Luxuries like human rights, democracy, free markets and the separation of powers didn’t appear until the late 1700s in Europe. Instead of just fighting for survival, we could dedicate (again) more resources to social evolution and exploration, because we finally had the understanding how to help ourselves and survive.

Also we started to rule ourselves less by divine appointment, but by social and political ideas. The concept of the national identity was supplanting religious identities - especially in Europe after those devastating and fruitless religious wars.

So in some way Martin Luther’s idea split the Christian atom (much more then the catholic (western) and orthodox (eastern) separation before). This big bang lead to the Age of Enlightenment. But it was paid with a lot of blood and burned bodies.