You make mistakes, I make mistakes. Mistakes are essential for learning and especially curious or laborious people make many of them.
But how to handle mistakes – especially those in a public situation?
The first question what this mistake means to yourself: did you repeat an old mistake or indulge a bad habit? In that case the usual reaction is anger or frustration with yourself. This is of course the wrong way: you should rather ask yourself what is the "motivation" behind the "repeat". Unless you know what drives you to do the same mistakes over and over again than you can’t change …
Was the mistake unpredictable? Than have a laugh and try again.
But what if it was predictable and you just didn’t care enough to be cautions or too lazy to prepare yourself properly. Once again don’t use the "excuse" anger to punish yourself – and again ask yourself what was the motivation for your carelessness.
Social connection are usually "chains" of personal commitments of loyalty, association and love.
So if you "fail" in public you yank that "chain" – and all people connected to it will be connected.
Isn’t it strange that we are suddenly part of a failure or the blame game although we didn’t do anything?
And why does a mistake make the presence of observers, friends and enemies it even worse? Why do we gloat? Why do we feel Schadenfreude? Why do other people’s failure fill us rather with glee and happiness instead of compassion?
Watch this video and be honest about your first reaction:
Now you have been the observer, but what if that crash had happened to you?
It really depends on your independence from the crowd and self-confidence if you can shrug of the mistakes.
To feel embarrassed by your or other people’s mistake it an "emotional decision" – unlike the emotion fear it is not hardwired into our brains to protect us.
Sure – there is "stress" that is generated by a mistake – falling down will flush you with hormones and race your pulse. But still there is no need to feel embarrassed.
The same is true for anger after a mistake. Often people (mostly guys) are angry and get aggressive towards others and objects when they "fail":
Once again this reaction to a mistake could be handled differently. Because having such a lack of emotional intelligence is another social failure and can only lead to more stress.
So when a mistake happens and there is no further "danger" take a step back and a deep breath. Calm yourself if you feel stressed … take some more deep breaths in case you are flooded with stress. Give your body and your mind time to handle what happened.
Try to understand what just happened and improve the situation. Keep your composure or laugh about it.
