Every year the same procedure: people make New Years Resolutions and pretty quickly fail them. Stop Smoking? Get fitter? Get smarter, nicer … whatever …

It’s basically willpower versus habit.

But most of us have not especially well trained mind or huge amounts of willpower to overcome intellectual, emotional or physical bad habits or even addictions.

The old mental image of the well trodden path is the best way to explain why resolution most of the time fail.

Bad habits as well as good ones are psychic or physical patterns we repeat. The more established and familiar the pattern is – the easier we can repeat it.

I will change … of at least I’ll try and fail like last years and the year before … 

It’s like any skill or behaviour: the more you practice that habit the deeper it is ingrained in your psyche or body. Like reading or throwing a Frisbee practice makes perfect or creates a hellish habit that is harder and harder to escape.

Often we follow these well trodden paths on auto pilot. We can observe ourselves often doing stupid or terrible things to ourselves – often in full knowledge and awareness that we are doing it RIGHT NOW.

The bad habit has embedded itself so deeply into our psyche or body that we can follow it blindly and are zombies of something we more and more hate.

Do you really think you simply can stop such a bad habit but saying to yourself I will change? You already have the awareness you are doing something bad while you are doing it – and you are unable to stop yourself while doing it!

The strategy to simply make a resolution will mostly fail. It is the wrong "tool" to escape from the "bad path" in your psyche!

How will escape a bad "path" if you don’t have a new one?

So you failed again? Understand the power of bad patterns before you try to change …

Imagine being a Jogger and you have a course you have been running for years. You know every inch of the way, the timing, your own capabilities and each obstacle. But also the pleasure of that very course …

A new course is to be learned through practice and experiencing it again and again. The same applies to retraining new patterns in your behaviour.

Instead of wasting a lot of time and energy to fight a bad old pattern, pour these resources into creating and strengthening a new one. It will help your "self improvement" more to experience (small) successes instead of constant and well ingrained failures.

Be patient! Be persistent!

Oh sweet sweet fucking success!

To build new patterns takes time. Failures will happen and that’s a good thing too. You can use these "failures" to measure how well the new pattern is already established. Obviously over time you should less and less fall back to bad old behaviour …

New York Times: How Nonsense Sharpens the Intellect

The article above confirms my personal observations: it’s not always an advantage to think "straight" or be normal.

Paradoxes and "weird stuff" are good for your mind. It helps to brain to find new approaches and brings inspiration.

So crazy humour is as good as zen koans or mad art to get you "thinking" in new ways. Our minds need to be rattles once in a while to get out of it’s usually patterns and look for new ones …

You make mistakes, I make mistakes. Mistakes are essential for learning and especially curious or laborious people make many of them.

But how to handle mistakes – especially those in a public situation?

The first question what this mistake means to yourself: did you repeat an old mistake or indulge a bad habit? In that case the usual reaction is anger or frustration with yourself. This is of course the wrong way: you should rather ask yourself what is the "motivation" behind the "repeat". Unless you know what drives you to do the same mistakes over and over again than you can’t change …

Was the mistake unpredictable? Than have a laugh and try again.

But what if it was predictable and you just didn’t care enough to be cautions or too lazy to prepare yourself properly. Once again don’t use the "excuse" anger to punish yourself – and again ask yourself what was the motivation for your carelessness.

Social connection are usually "chains" of personal commitments of loyalty, association and love.

So if you "fail" in public you yank that "chain" – and all people connected to it will be connected.

Isn’t it strange that we are suddenly part of a failure or the blame game although we didn’t do anything?

And why does a mistake make the presence of observers, friends and enemies it even worse? Why do we gloat? Why do we feel Schadenfreude? Why do other people’s failure fill us rather with glee and happiness instead of compassion?

Watch this video and be honest about your first reaction:

Now you have been the observer, but what if that crash had happened to you?

It really depends on your independence from the crowd and self-confidence if you can shrug of the mistakes.

To feel embarrassed by your or other people’s mistake it an "emotional decision" – unlike the emotion fear it is not hardwired into our brains to protect us.

Sure – there is "stress" that is generated by a mistake – falling down will flush you with hormones and race your pulse. But still there is no need to feel embarrassed.

The same is true for anger after a mistake. Often people (mostly guys) are angry and get aggressive towards others and objects when they "fail":

Once again this reaction to a mistake could be handled differently. Because having such a lack of emotional intelligence is another social failure and can only lead to more stress.

So when a mistake happens and there is no further "danger" take a step back and a deep breath. Calm yourself if you feel stressed … take some more deep breaths in case you are flooded with stress. Give your body and your mind time to handle what happened.

Try to understand what just happened and improve the situation. Keep your composure or laugh about it.

We humans are not really brave. We do not laugh in the face of danger, we simply choose to be ignorant and hope that the problem will go away.

Ignorance seems to be a psychological mechanism to help us to cope with fear and anxiety – we simply choose to filter danger out and hope for the best.

Many personal or big catastrophes’ could have been avoided with more care or more fear. Fear is a good warning signal and fear can be overcome by being smarter and better prepared.

It makes no sense living on a volcano and hoping it won’t explode, the smart thing would be to move away. But tell that to the people of Pompeii.

The Beauty and the Beast.

Many so called "great people" often suffer from extreme psychological damage and deformations.

Usually the needs to be a "huge drive" in your psyche that propels you to "more" than the usual person.

Many great artists, industrialists, scientists and politicians were not driven by mere talents, but the crazy need to please their parents (like Mozart or Michael Jackson) or patch some other painful hole in their personality (like being loved, accepted and adored by everybody).

So it’s no surprise that Artistic tendencies linked to ’schizophrenia gene’ and many great people often suffered from mental illnesses like depressions or bi-polar-disorder (like Stephen Fry or Robbie Williams).

But it’s that very inner turmoil that drives these people forward to excel.

Psychological pain not always translates into creativity and so called "greatness" – many people suffer heavily form such conditions without reaping any "benefits" from them.

Our psyche loves simple solutions to nagging problems and insecurities. Mythology and fairy tales are full of miracle cures and magic items that solve any problem.

Like little kids we hunger for the Überfather or Übermother to fix the universe for us. Once we grow up many project their childhood inability to cope with reality onto a mystical being or deity and ask them to fix life for them.

Because we mere mortals can’t connect to the heavens and the gods we hope for magic items that are blessed by our imaginary friends in high places. Magic amulets or pants that protect us from harm, bones from saints and all that kind of rubbish.

It’s wishful thinking and idol worshipping at it’s best.

And if a magic item didn’t work as advertised we blame ourselves for being not "worthy" enough to invoke it’s powers.

Most people are not religious – especially religious people. Most just want to have their part and position in the Cosmic Drama. We want to matter! We want to be part of the story! We want to be seen – even by illusionary divine creatures.

Atheists like the great Mr Dawkins often overlook that most human beings are not as logical, brilliant and consequent like they are.

Therefore Atheism needs to recognize the "darker needs" of the human psyche – just like C.G. Jung has pointed out.

Most natural (sort of pagan) rituals often celebrate nature and the cycle of life without any Gods attached to them. Modern psychology, drugs and spiritual methods (like good old ZEN meditation) offers more than enough excellent ideas to give us mere mortals enough drama, excitement and involvement to calm down our little egos and feel important and connected.

As your progress in life it becomes harder to be amazed and feel "the magic of life". Sure, they all talk about their inner child and that they are "still young inside". But your brains capabilities to learn and understand already go down after you turn 30 – not to speak of each individuals personal quirks.

Plus with (bad) experience with are more more careful and are harder to surprise. And there actually isn’t that much new stuff under the sun. Especially adult cynics will it find very hard to get enthralled …

So to find something as an adult that is truly amazing and  inspiring becomes harder (unless you constantly play the "awesome" type of person").

We can’t "empty" our minds – although meditation and other techniques are nice to quiet down the "inner monkeys". But with age comes wisdom and knowledge that should be used to drill deeper and explore the complexity of life.

You won’t be so naively thrilled like a little baby about the inner workings of the Cosmos, but nature and human art offer incredible depth that is worth exploring.

Isn’t it odd: sometimes our self doesn’t feel like itself. Our mind perceives itself as splintered or disconnected.

The mind has the great ability to put itself into different internal “sections” or “boxes” – for example it can put “pain” and “bad memories” away so the mind can cope with daily life without going insane.

But this also a problem – we sometimes feel disconnected from all our parts. The expression “pulling yourself together” is an universal expression and a state of mind experienced by everyone.

But where is that lever or what’s the trick to pull yourself together? By relaxing in a hot tube? Doing something “nice”? Loosing yourself in mindless entertainment?

So – what’s your trick?

What does it mean to be "lonely"?

Does it mean people treat you like an outcast – and you are pushed a side and a lone person.

Does it mean you run away from people – because you dislike them or you’re unable to connect to them.

Does it mean you are always at the wrong place with nobody to connect?

Does it mean nobody understands you or nobody can follow your ideas, mindset or attitude?

What does it mean to be lonely and is it real?

Do you open your mind? Are you an open person? Are you open to new things? Are you well connect?

Of course you are … NOT. We are live in intellectual and emotional bubbles. Our brains are our bubbles – and how much we train, expand and use them.

The question is: even when our brains are limited how much do you use it? No, this is not about the old “we only use 10% of our brain”-myth. It is much more about training and education.

Our brain and the mind within needs to be constantly trained, challenged and cultivated. Brain scans have shown unused brain literally loose capacity and become dull. The mind needs to be sharpened by usage and challenges. Only running “on easy” will dumb you down.

So the questions is now: how much do you open your bubble to let in new, challenging, unknown, uncomfortable and complicated thoughts and tasks? Do you allow “nasty” paradoxes and even painful mind benders into your bubble that will keep your mind fighting and chewing on them – or do you limit your brain and yourself to “easy thinking”?

You have to understand that your mind is only a part of you – a part that needs training and something to challenge it. Regard as your inner dog: give him some yummy bones to chew on, some wild toys to chase around and keep him busy. He will like that!

We all dislike fighting and arguing with other people, co-workers and loved ones. But it’s a necessary part of life.

Most people are stressed out by fights and anger. But like boxing it is a skill that can be learned to reduce the stress and not to waste too much energy. It’s not about anger management, but dealing with stress during a confrontation, making proper arguments, understanding the  physical effects of stress and anger on your body and mind … and getting out of your own “hot head”.

By developing a “conflict culture” and getting to know yourself in hot situations is a benefit to yourself and everybody else. You still can be mad, passionate and intense about your opinions, but you learn how to focus and use your power in a good way to make your point of view clear.

A good fight / argument can be highly stimulation and refreshing – it doesn’t need to be a total disaster for everybody.

How much ‘down to earth’ do you need to be to be ‘grounded’? How close to Mother Earth can you get without feeling ‘down’ or ‘falling flat on your face’? How dirty is getting ‘your hands dirty’? Or does ‘laying low for a while’ really help to ‘get both feed on the ground’?

We all know phrases like “inner child” or “being playful like a kid”. The adult mind obviously is jealous of the fun and simplicity the young mind seems to enjoy.

But it is important to understand that the young mind / brain simply doesn’t understand many things and simply hasn’t learnt them yet. So these simple minds can only understand simple fun and obvious entertainment.

Adults have the pleasure of understanding more complex ‘fun’ or entertaining ‘constructions’ of art, entertainment and meanings.

So when it comes to ‘fun’ adults have a broader scope of possibilities – it’s up to them to enjoy them.

We are often prisoners of our own minds. Limited vision and limited imagination keep us from achieving often simple things. The simple thought “I can’t do that!” can stop you before you even tried.

Our minds can ‘think’ about reality and possibilities. To a certain extend we can envision the future and personal limits – but not everything our ‘common sense’ tells us is ‘real’ and the true limit of our abilities.

So free yourself and experiment with your limits. You can surprise yourself, you can grow and learn new stuff. Only false limits can really stop you more than anything!

Not all animals are created equal, especially not in terms of intelligence. Nobody would consider Cows, Chicken or Snakes as especially smart.

Very different to Elephants, Squid, Chimps and most of all Dolphins. Recent stunning experiments with Dolphins have revealed that they ‘understand’ basic concepts of language and can answer questions with the capability of small kids.

Life could be so simple! Everybody should have a green handler – so we can blame the slugs for our miserable life’s. I for one welcome our new jelly overlords!

He certainly is one of the real giants of the last century. He formulated and created a new way of looking at ourselves and exploring humanity. Many of his theories are now proven wrong – but Siegmund Freud wouldn’t mind that. He based his work on empirical evidence, not dogmas. He changed his several of his theories several times.

Too bad many people turned his theories and observations into dogmas – especially in contrast with the terrible events of world war II. Freud’s work gave many people the reason to believe that the human animal is bad, driven mostly by his deep sexual desires and needs. This is certainly a part of the human equation, but not the whole story.

Especially evolutionary biology has shown that the ‘selfish gene‘ in us is much more altrustic and pragmatic then Freud and many other prophets of doom want us to believe.

If you are poor and stuck in some backwater place your choices are limited. To have a choice is a luxury – not many people enjoy that privilege.

But to develop different perspectives on life you need to have the luxury of self observation and time to reflect. And some brains and some education help too.

Many of our fellow humans are still simply trying to survive and lead a decent life – without a break to think about themselves, learn more about culture and spirituality – or having the resources to start a ‘new’ or ‘different’ life.

If you can afford all these things and you can think – than use these gifts. Otherwise you are wasting yourself and the chance to improve society. Self improvement is not a one way street – as part of a bigger community all bonuses and deficits are added or subtracted from the ‘big picture’.

After many years if waiting and technical development video is finally sweeping the Internets. It’s not just download little bits here and there, but massive streaming, downloading complete movies and ‘blogcasting’. We are used to get small video clips in our emails or watch important as well as ‘funny’ stuff via Websites like Crooks & Liars as well as YouTube.

The BlogCasting is a sort of Clip-O-Mania which has also grabbed the mainstream media’s attention: news shows include Internet clips as well as those many funny video shows. Videos of people torturing each other were cell phone videos, a lot of ‘funny’ stuff is from cheap camcorders. The video revolution is in full swing.

Since the medium is still part of the message those short clips will only ‘deepen’ the short attention deficit disorder of modern people. Since the introduction of mass media in form of TV and radio the speed and visual presentation of ‘content’ has increased. If you watch a newscast or report from the 1960’s you be surprised how slow and static it is. Today’s presentation hardly leaves any space for thinking. Everything is presented in ever faster image sequences, booming voices and action music. This is no longer just the stupid idea of edutainment, but actiontainment.

The faster, the more impressive and the shorter – the better.

A new generation of clones taking over the world!

Similar to the inability of many modern students to understand or write complex texts this will Clip-O-Mania will contribute to the ignorance of complexity. Contrary to popular believe I say that modern youngsters are NOT stupid, but they simply lack the training and challenges to train their brains to ’solve’ complex mental tasks as well to train patience.

As much as I like gaming myself almost ALL digital adventures only train a very limited set of challenges, which only get harder with every level but not more diversified or complex. The effects of hours of videogaming are very similar to brainwashing, because the same mental paths / messages are hammered deeper and deeper into the brain. Playing is meant to explore different approaches and experiment with different combinations. Videogames lack the variety – they present a very limited set of elements and solutions – under a huge pressure to proceed and win. Similar to the speedculture of actiontainment and videoclubs there is little time and mental space left to develop your own ideas and grow at your own pace.

Slowness has it’s own merits as well as patience and complexity.

The good thing about phone sex is that is has nothing to do with reality – so your biggest sex organ isn’t limited by reality.

So your fantasy is potent you can create excitement beyond belief. Only drawback – there is nobody there to cuddle with you once the brainy excitement wears off.

Maybe one should combine the physical and the imagination into one big bang?

I find it highly ironic that these tests were actually invented by the (US) military around 1914:

1. Do you want to die by machine gun fire?
2. Do you want to die by poison gas?
3. Do you want to die by artillery fire?
4. Do you want to go to Europe and experience all of the above?

I personally think these tests are really stupid, since they are like rail tracks, you can go only go in certain directions. You can’t reply in your own way and demonstrate that you understand the subject in a free form reply.

Angst is the main reasons why we fail many tasks. Simply being scared can reduce the smartest and most competent humans to a shaky nothing.

But why is fear itself so terrible? Because it ‘kills’ our capability to think straight.

Our brains have so called lower and higher brain functions – based on in which part of the brain they are situated. (Click here to read a very well done introduction to the brain).

Our Stem Brain is the most automatic and stupidest part of the brain. It controls the (survival) reflexes/instincts and acts first (instead of ‘thinking’). Fear is not only a mental reaction (meaning it’s not just firing up your neurons to work harder), but also a chemical reaction. Adrenaline is pumped into our system and all muscles get ready for some action. Your heart and lungs start working harder too – pumping more oxygen into your system for extra power. And your brain actually speeds up thinking in dangerous situation – that is why fearful and dangerous situations are often described with "and time stood still".

Fight or flight is fears dedicated motto – on a most primitive survival level. That is why the body and mind go into overdrive to get yourself out of the danger zone if fear kicks in. But modern life is mostly social or work related stress. We are no longer faced with lions hunting us down or surviving in nature.

All these physical preparations for Fight-or-Flight happen before your higher brain functions can kick in: take control and really THINK.

To deal with fear, calming yourself down and really work the problem is hard work for your brain and has to be trained. An untrained brain simply goes into survival mode and acts on reflexes (which can be sometimes good in physically dangerous situations).

It takes some effort and training to learn to deal with fear – so your higher brain functions get the upper hand and you can think before you act – thus controlling your natural instincts and reflexes.

Let’s train da brain …

Here are some pointer of training yourself to deal with fear and stress:

1. Mental Awareness: Unless you realize that you are in a state or fear or extreme stress you can’t act upon it. Some people literally go blank when they are in stress or fear. You have to learn to stay aware and realize that you are full of fear.
2. Physical Awareness: Once you get hold of your brain you should check how your body is doing. There is a huge difference between a little faster heart beat or totally shaking with fear. Or even pissing yourself because of fear. Some people even can’t see straight. So check your breathing, heart rate, sight, shakiness, stomach for fear syndromes. Realize how excited and stressed you already are to determine the effects of adrenaline and stress on yourself.
3. Threat Assessment: In a physically threatening situation your body might have already acted (like pulling your hand out of fire), but in many modern fearful and stressful situations this is useless. You don’t kill your boss  (fight) or run away (flight), just because he gives you an evaluation. And there is no reason to shot your Laptop, because your Windows update fucked up. So wrap your head around the problem and see beyond the fear.
4. Calming Down: You should instantly start to cool down your system. Take control of your breathing – stop any hyperventilating if you are not planning to Fight or Flight. Also get a grip on your posture, don’t crouch like a ‘frightened coward’, but get upright for self esteem and and better control. Really tell yourself to calm down, realize that you are still alive and able to deal with the problem. It is important to understand that the Adrenaline in your blood will take some time to go away. So don’t expect total control in a few seconds.
5. Switching to higher Thinking: Our brains are magnificent, but they also need some time to get working. It’s no use to stress yourself into thinking straight – more stress doesn’t help. Try to give yourself a mental break before engaging into problem solving – if the situation allows it. So step back or take yourself OUT of the stressful situation, before confronting it. If you can’t ‘escape’ physically, than give yourself a short mental vacation: thinking of something nice, a great moment in your life or someone who loves you can calm you down and give you that positive ‘breather’ you might need. Sidenote: many people like to stress themselves, because they think they can think better under stress (no pun intended). This is not true: you brain is simply more active and you experience yourself ‘on fire’. It’s like hitting your thumb with a hammer to feel it better.
6. Concentrate on the Problem: Our minds need input to be creative and come up with a solution (see also this article about problem solving on Wikipedia). So learn to analyze problems – don’t focus on the fear or what scares you. Also don’t get into an anger mode if something just shocked or scared you. Anger is as much a ‘mind killer’ as fear. The easiest way to deal with problems is cutting them down to ‘acceptable chunks’. One step at a time. Later when your mind is working again you can assemble the ‘full horror’ in it’s complexity – but for starters CUT IT DOWN. Dealing with smaller chunks will yield faster results and give you back some calm and self esteem for actually solving something.

Why are there no fitness centers to train your psyche and mind to have more endurance and dexterity?

Those are a few simple pointers to understand yourself and what kind of effects fear has on your mind.

Don’t be afraid of fear – the mind killer – you mind can be trained to deal with it and solve the real problem afterwards.  

Prozac Penis Nation – we are still to much ruled by our chemicals. When will be learn to influence our psyche by ourselves through mental exercises and proper food instead of external chemicals, medication and party drugs?

How about an enlightenment pill?

Is there such a thing as a gender gap in humor?! When I look at my personal experience as well as pop culture there are hardly any funny women around. When you look at the list of great and funny entertainers of the last twenty years – you hardly find any females in the business. Why?!

Some people attribute guys humor as a last resort to get himself a woman anyway. Even if you are ugly as hell you can’t impress the chicks if you are funny guy. Woman love funny guys.

But does that work for women as well? Does a funny ugly woman get laid, just because she can impress with her humor? I doubt it.

Socia–Biology as the real reason behind the humor gender gap?

Maybe it’s also a chick thing not to embarrass themselves in front of others? Guys have no problem farting and belching in front of a big audience. It’s a guy thing alright. But women don’t fart (loudly) and they don’t make jokes or funny faces either. At least not many. And most women don’t seem to know funny stuff or are willing to perform any practical jokes.

It could be an historical thing: women were not allowed to act in certain cultures. Female roles were playing by guys like in Japan, China and many parts of Europe. Also the Clowns and Jesters were mostly a male affair.

But the woman are slowly catching up in TV, movies and real life. I love Tina Fey’s writing and acting in ‘30 Rock’ … but she is still a minority compared to the Stephen Colberts, John Stewards and Stephen Frys of this planet …

The Internet is Dante’s new inferno – a Hell Hole without escape. We will never be able to watch all videos on YouTube, click all Stumbles, dig all links on Digg and enjoy all the Billion image on Flickr … not to speak of terabytes of terabytes of links that haven’t been officially classified as cool.

So is your thirst for more only a hunger for entertainment, stimulation for your own thoughts or simply boredom?

Overall a dedicated surfer will encounter the same topics, meme and styles again and again. How many cute dogs will really touch you? How many times do you want to read that George Bush is a disaster? How many times do you want to see mad people filming themselves doing funny, but stupid things?

Are we all became pavlovian Dogs – reacting with the right reflexes? With a nice ‘Awwww’ for the nice doggy. With a ‘Buuuh’ for stupid politicians. With a ‘Cooooool, Dude!’ when people try to kill themselves in a entertaining way.

You are not what you click, you are what you do.

Do something real.

Often when people try to be scary it’s rather pathetic or simply funny. But what if you are scaring people without even trying? Are you projecting a hate shield to keep people away? Or are you a Guru, who’s insights scare the ignorant and stubborn? Or are you simply a mean spirit?

Being scary is not a compliment – it’s usually an ego deficit transformed into fear and violence.

New Age gurus and motivational trainers seem obsessed to hammer positive thinking and the idea of always constructing win-win situations in everybody’s minds.

Loosing or failing is one of the best ways to learn something. So failing is actually the best way to become a master at anything. Failure teaches us a lot.

But more important is the ‘deconstruction’ of the dualism of winning and loosing. Once you get rid of of the cultural and social pressure and concept of ‘being a winner’ or ‘being a sore looser’ life gets MUCH easier.

Once you get rid of this judgmental concept in your psyche you can go with your flow and open up your mind for creativity and collaboration without a ‘winning’ end result. Creating something excellent is not the same as winning a trophy.

There is a huge difference between being declared brilliant and being brilliant …

The Internet is all about communication. It’s first great breakthroughs were eMail, Chats and Newsgroups – places and mechanism for people to talk to each other, share stories and moments. The Web – with it’s rich multimedia mix of text, images, animations videos and loads of interaction came later.

The first Internet years were pure ‘Text’ – no fancy graphics, no weird interfaces, no flash movies. It was a writers paradise – and boy did people work that keyboard. That is why all those handy acronyms were invented in the first place – because they were used a lot and people got sick and tired of typing it all out. It was intended to speed up the conversation and develop some simple forms of ‘communication blocks and codes’ to ritualize reoccurring situations like ‘ROFL’ or ‘ttyl’.

eMail and chats were already different from formal letters and meeting in the office. But people tried to keep grammar, expression and context intact. It was fascinating to exchange loads of text & context in real time or almost instantly. eMail was like a speed drug for communication and brainstorming. Communication processes that often took days and weeks could be shortened to seconds, minutes or just a few hours. Brains were on fire.

This trend was pushed even further with the cell phone revolution and the invention of the web – which brought texting and web surfing to the masses. Further down the road broadband and multimedia transformed the pure ‘text-only’ online cosmos into a ‘disney-compatible consumer experience’.

Happiness is more then just an emoticon …

Websurfers and companies alike tried to make it short and sweet. Online portals developed the art of content management and squeezing as much tiny headlines and articles on their homepages. Instant messaging and texting on cell phones was the next craze – conversations were chopped up into even smaller bits. The old text emoticons were immediately translated into graphical ones – and a flood of new acronyms and Internet ‘talk’ took over the world.

The use of acronyms and rituals become even deeper entrenched in Internet communication – and it swapped over into the mainstream. Suddenly you could see web URLs in advertising and Internet slang jumped into ‘meatspace’.

But it also ritualized the always on lifestyle and communication even further. Sending jokes, images, videos, URLs or short blurbs became a substitute for describing yourself, your emotions or what you had experienced in YOUR OWN WORDS. Instead of self expression we used ‘blocks of code’ or ‘canned emotions’ to reflect ourselves – but not EXPRESSING our own state of mind.

I love your pixelation!

Instead of encouraging someone with a personal note – we send a picture of a cute doggy. Instead of saying how we feel about a sad moment with some nuances we send a sad emoticon. Instead of describing our vacation to our friends we send them a link of our Flickr gallery of snaps without context.

In all these cases we get shorter and shorter in our self expression. By breaking up complex situations or moments into simple symbols or unrelated bits we loose the complexity. The complexity of what has happened. The complexity of what we think and feel about it. And the complexity of different layers of self expression. Instead of many colour we mix ourselves with words, sentences, long expression – we use static rubberstamps of self expression. Easy and simple to use – but limited in their emotional and mental range – and shallow compared what really might be inside of you.

When you are on MySpace Google will make sure you have no privacy … 

Especially the new world of social networking is ’shrtr’. Instead of messages you send ‘funny’ games or emoticons. Instead of telling a person you like them or you ignore them you ‘rate’ them by giving them stars or declaring them your friend. Symbolism over true friendly dedication or exchange. Instead of socializing we extend our social networks by inviting the highest ranking and rated members of the database. Instead of getting to know someone and exchanging personal stories we explore their personal links, lists of favorite websites and online galleries – plus we Google their names and see if something nasty comes up.

It is no longer about what you have to say and what you are – it’s all about the right links, ranking and cool ’statement blocks’ others can recognize as greatness. You link the right political articles on your blog or stumble, you know the funniest videos, one big celebrity is your friend on MySpace.

I have friends – therefore I am! 

The art and exploration of yourself through self expression and deep thoughts has been substituted by the cleverness of self linking and self promoting. The Google PageRank of your homepage, profile or profile has become a social indicator.

The art of making friends with your personality and what you have to say and stand for. Instead of exploring one’s own inner world and building it by thinking and expressing it – we only reflect only tiny aspects of our self via links, phrases and other people’s work like videos and images.

The modern phrase and lifestyle statement ‘express yourself’ – which can be seen in so many commercials and new age books – is a challenge. It is hard work and it is a personal and social effort to express yourself, to understand yourself, to think for yourself and define yourself.

A complex personality and emotional depth can only come from complex self expression. You are the builder of your self …

Dedicated to Judefa – who inspired me to write this.

Some problems may look terribly threatening, but you’ll might discover that they have only a ‘limited range’ in your life. Just because something has teeth it doesn’t mean it can bite you all the time and everywhere.

So try stepping back and get a bigger picture when something snaps at you.

I am making here a little fun of the historical concept of Absolutism.

One of the major underlying difference between so called left/liberal and right/conservative (plus fundamentalist) dogmas is the conflict between ‘relativism’ and ‘absolutism’.

In a dogma of absolutism you have ‘true’ and solid values and ‘points’ in your world view that are not negotiable. (Wikipedia on political and moral absolutism.) Some of it’s heads are: Thomas Hobbes, Immanuel Kant and Aristotle.

With a relativistic world one thing leads to another, you hardly find solid positions to navigate, but a mere set of ideas that keep a network of borders that constantly shift. (Wikipedia on moral relativism.) Some of it’s heads are: Karl Marx, Jean-Paul Sartre and Martin Heidegger.

Absolute concepts and values are of course easier to understand and present, since their set of rules is less wobbly – hence the word absolute.

Karl Marx – bloody relativist communist scummmmm …

Here are some statements about Absolutism by Mr. Richard Hooker (taken again from here):

Political philosophers attempted to extricate themselves from these matters through two different, contradictory approaches: “natural law” or “the Divine Right of Kings.” According to natural law political thinkers, there were immutable natural laws which should govern states and their relations to their citizens and to other states. According to the doctrine of the Divine Right of Kings, a system of thought derived ultimately from medieval theories of kingship, certain kings ruled because they were specifically chosen by God to be kings. Surprisingly, both of these approaches could yield the same result: the idea that the best form of government is an autocracy, or rule by a single person. This person was not to be questioned or disobeyed; this became known as “absolutism,” since the monarch ruled with “absolute” power, that is, unshared power.

Natural law yielded absolutism in the work of Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679), who believed all things, including human society, could be understood using principles of geometry. Hobbes’ central argument was that all humans are driven by two and only two impulses: fear of death and desire for power. If left unchecked, human beings would act on these impulses and live violent, brutish, inhumane, and solitary lives. In order to keep these impulses in check, human beings, according to Hobbes, drew up a social contract, which ceded authority to a single person in exchange for a level of security. The single ruler would control the violent and selfish impulses of individual members in a society through brute force; individuals would lose their liberty, but they would gain security and community. Hobbes didn’t care what form this single rule might take, whether a monarch or a dictator, only that absolute power was required to keep society together.

Relative guilty? Absolute Guilty? Relative dead? Absolute dead?

This is of course a nasty rhetoric trick from my side, to mix modern conservative thinking with an 17th century ideology. But I can’t help the feeling that the overall attitude is very similar?!

But it is about time that we leave dogmas behind us as political tools and aspire to use whatever is the best idea for the problem. But that would again imply that that solutions are relative to the problem and it’s circumstances. So is life in the end relative and not absolute? Can one defend absolute ideas in the end? Read this christian refutation of Relativism.

This xmas a lot of digital babysitters will arrive in many families. More and more people point out that stressful video games are not the best thing for a young mind. Overall it seems computer are not making pupils smarter anyway?! So should we ban computers from classrooms and school until kids reach a certain age – AND until they have mastered basic math and writing skills?!

Actually – being an avid gamer myself – I agree that gaming has a strong influence on the mind. It can be like a ‘rush’ of euphoria or an extreme strain being so narrowly concentrated on just one small screen. After a long gaming session my mind seems to ‘play’ the game long after I have stopped. It’s almost like a shadow or ‘burn in’ effect.

For me it makes perfect sense to say that a young persons mental energy and education should be focused on learning – while playtime (which is always learning as well) should be more relaxing and be a physical workout to balance mind and body. Most modern kids spent way to much time only in the mental sphere of school, tv and games – less in social and physical ’spaces’.

So parents – listen up!

There are days that simply suck. There is no cosmic nor carmic reason for it. So indulge your misery or simply decide to snap out of it. A happy psyche can create a happy day …

One thing I hate about modern movies, toys, books and video games is that they don’t leave any space for my imagination. I don’t need to see that scary monster -  let my imagination create one. I don’t need to see a gazillion spaceships in every details – let my imagination create that spectacular. Don’t show and explain every bloody detail … leave that work to my imagination.

No surprise that so many modern kinds are so dumb, because they have no blanks to fill in, so their imagination isn’t challenged to do ANYTHING. The same applies to adults as well … because they simply fill in the blanks with money.

Imagination, association and creativity are skills that need constant training and input with great inspiration. No training, no skills = results in a dull mind.

Every year around this time my fight with Winter Depression starts. Not enough light – and therefore not enough happiness. Since this is the 21st century this condition has a nice and serious sounding medical name attached to it – Seasonal Affective Disorder – which can be shortened into ‘SAD’. No shit Sherlock!

But this year I’ll fight back! Thanks to the intranets I bought one of many light therapy devices. If it doesn’t make me happy – at least my electricity provider will be (although most of these devices use no more power then a normal light bulb).

More? Wikipedia on Light therapy

Meditation is a good thing. But this is the new millennium – so get you notebook on the floor, activate your web based meditation timer and off you go. This one even has some nice music (click on the musical note to see the selection).

I am wondering if this is not turning into some machine worshipping? Maybe this tool can be expanded with a virtual candle, a virtual monk slapping you on the face and a virtual Buddha points counter to tell you when you are finally an enlightened being yourself?

*Thanks to all the people who sent this to me – must have been at least four via Stumblers. I guess they all think I am in dire need of some enlightenment!

Is it maybe my age? Or is it because I am unable to form proper relationships? But I am getting less and less pussy in my life. This is not a complaint about being sexless, but rather without some recharging contact to lovely females …

Sex is certainly nice and exciting, although I find the pure act itself rather boring and uninspiring. Orgasm is usually quicker achieved without third party support. Sure, one can look out for new kicks, like a little bit perversion on the side, drugs or mind boggling experiments (like fucking in an exploding space shuttle).

But I am hungry for something else …

I spent quite some time on personal sex and sensual culture, by doing Tantra, massage and yoga. Which is good. It’s great to know your heart chakra from your ass, as well being able to know for yourself if you feel horny or simply true love and affection for another human being. This is all very helpful. Thank you so much Mr. Insight.

But knowing stuff is one thing – now for the practical part. Already during my first Tantra days I had quite a hard time finding women who understood this new ‘thing’, being able to cope with a so called ‘emotionally grown up male’. Since I have overcome the snobbish esoteric desire to heal women with my holy penis (or Lingam as the Tantrist call the sausage bit), there is now a lot of time to experience a nice flow of energy and sexuality between a lovely Shakti and me (the so called Shiva). I am not asking for a cosmic orgy every night or the supreme priestess of Yoni in my life, just a bit understanding and tenderness beyond the old in & out mechanism.

This is not tantric snobbism. I am just a firm believer that lovemaking is a set skills, that goes way beyond a simple erection or wetness and some Uhhhs and Ahhhs.

Love technique is a pure set of physical sex skills, to know your own and your partners anatomy, erroneous zones and the effect on hormones and excitement on the human body (and side effects to the mind and emotional side as well – more of that later). Also included is knowledge about how to operate your genitals and pleasure tools, as well as the effects of different positions. In later stages you can add all sorts of games, operation of external pleasure tools and drugs as well.

The next big area is your sexual psyche, how the human mind and emotions interact with sexual energies. Now this is quite a task, but a very fulfilling one. This is were we can learn to be more open, to heal or wounds of love and learn to show and give true affection. Since sex ‘lives’ very close to our egos, there is a lot of potential for conflict, fear, hunger and madness. To master your sex psyche means mostly to confront your hungry sex maniac ego. Me! Me! Me!

For some people the last area of sex magic or spirituality is the most exciting, because they expect some sort of Steven Spielberg effects while making love or instant enlightenment by tantric penetration. Or they simply watched to much advertising bullshit.

An energetic as well as spiritual exchange always happens while making sex/love. If you have read all tantric literature in the world or not. This is more about to learn how to use these energies consciously, instead of an unaware and animalistic level (which is also useful). This is about exchange with your partner, weaving a carpet of love and energy that goes way beyond the satisfaction of an physical orgasm. It’s a deep experience that has a more lasting effect on your psyche on different levels: your ego will feel very happy about all that deep attention it received, your body is humming with energy, your soul is touched on an intimate level, that hardly exist in everyday life.

Let’s go back to my tiny ego problems …

I shed my biggest tears about sensual deprivation. I want to be touched and massaged in a fulfilling way. Once again this is an area where I did some workshops, loads of massage exchanges (with people from different massage ‘traditions’) and of course energy work. In the age of consumer Ayuveda and global esoterica, it seems very hard to find people to celebrate such a basic human ‘thing’: to touch and be touched in a nice way without any sexual drive behind it.

What drives me nuts, is that so called ‘normal’ people have such a hard time giving and receiving a simple pleasure as touching from someone else. It’s always an exclusive thing, just reserved for the one and only true partner or lover.

What a poor and limited concept.

I guess before we ever reach the stage of universal love, we need to explore the universal touch first. If you are afraid of simply touching someone in a pleasant and friendly way, how can you open your heart & mind for compassion or even love for the whole universe?

*repost 2003-09-13*

Behind every fairy tale lies often a deeper psychological and cultural message. So Rotkäppchen and her encounter with the big bad wolf has a sexual side to it as well – the furry old creature is the horny Grandfather. Understanding myths is still an important skill, since our subconscious still works with rather primitive archetypes and concepts.

I can highly recommend Joseph Campbell’s Power of Myth (book, DVD, audio tapes) to anyone who wants to look deeper.

A highly interesting article over at the Scientific American Mind. Neurosciene is still very young, we hardly know how our brains and minds work.

Don’t you love blame games?

Remember poor Lyndie England. Is she a great scapegoat, a brave soldier or just a mislead soul in a unjust war?

Since I am a sort of draft dodger I can’t relate to people who go to the military. Plus I don’t know how I would behave in a situation like Iraq, Vietnam or Afghanistan.

I once read that old British military tradition tried to evoke ‘presence of mind’ in their soldiers. This presence of mind seems clearly missing in this case and many others we read about during the War on Terror.

But I wonder, how anyone can stay present with death, torture, mayhem and human chaos around them? Isn’t that the perfect situation to close down anything left human inside of you and go robotic? Just following orders?

Soldiers should never be left alone, human should never be left alone. We are social animals and we need others to guide us in difficult situations … one sane mind can stop an insane crowd … sometimes …