Every year around this time my fight with Winter Depression starts. Not enough light - and therefore not enough happiness. Since this is the 21st century this condition has a nice and serious sounding medical name attached to it - Seasonal Affective Disorder - which can be shortened into ‘SAD’. No shit Sherlock!

But this year I’ll fight back! Thanks to the intranets I bought one of many light therapy devices. If it doesn’t make me happy - at least my electricity provider will be (although most of these devices use no more power then a normal light bulb).

More? Wikipedia on Light therapy

Meditation is a good thing. But this is the new millennium - so get you notebook on the floor, activate your web based meditation timer and off you go. This one even has some nice music (click on the musical note to see the selection).

I am wondering if this is not turning into some machine worshipping? Maybe this tool can be expanded with a virtual candle, a virtual monk slapping you on the face and a virtual Buddha points counter to tell you when you are finally an enlightened being yourself?

*Thanks to all the people who sent this to me - must have been at least four via Stumblers. I guess they all think I am in dire need of some enlightenment!

Is it maybe my age? Or is it because I am unable to form proper relationships? But I am getting less and less pussy in my life. This is not a complaint about being sexless, but rather without some recharging contact to lovely females …

Sex is certainly nice and exciting, although I find the pure act itself rather boring and uninspiring. Orgasm is usually quicker achieved without third party support. Sure, one can look out for new kicks, like a little bit perversion on the side, drugs or mind boggling experiments (like fucking in an exploding space shuttle).

But I am hungry for something else …

I spent quite some time on personal sex and sensual culture, by doing Tantra, massage and yoga. Which is good. It’s great to know your heart chakra from your ass, as well being able to know for yourself if you feel horny or simply true love and affection for another human being. This is all very helpful. Thank you so much Mr. Insight.

But knowing stuff is one thing - now for the practical part. Already during my first Tantra days I had quite a hard time finding women who understood this new ‘thing’, being able to cope with a so called ‘emotionally grown up male’. Since I have overcome the snobbish esoteric desire to heal women with my holy penis (or Lingam as the Tantrist call the sausage bit), there is now a lot of time to experience a nice flow of energy and sexuality between a lovely Shakti and me (the so called Shiva). I am not asking for a cosmic orgy every night or the supreme priestess of Yoni in my life, just a bit understanding and tenderness beyond the old in & out mechanism.

This is not tantric snobbism. I am just a firm believer that lovemaking is a set skills, that goes way beyond a simple erection or wetness and some Uhhhs and Ahhhs.

Love technique is a pure set of physical sex skills, to know your own and your partners anatomy, erroneous zones and the effect on hormones and excitement on the human body (and side effects to the mind and emotional side as well - more of that later). Also included is knowledge about how to operate your genitals and pleasure tools, as well as the effects of different positions. In later stages you can add all sorts of games, operation of external pleasure tools and drugs as well.

The next big area is your sexual psyche, how the human mind and emotions interact with sexual energies. Now this is quite a task, but a very fulfilling one. This is were we can learn to be more open, to heal or wounds of love and learn to show and give true affection. Since sex ‘lives’ very close to our egos, there is a lot of potential for conflict, fear, hunger and madness. To master your sex psyche means mostly to confront your hungry sex maniac ego. Me! Me! Me!

For some people the last area of sex magic or spirituality is the most exciting, because they expect some sort of Steven Spielberg effects while making love or instant enlightenment by tantric penetration. Or they simply watched to much advertising bullshit.

An energetic as well as spiritual exchange always happens while making sex/love. If you have read all tantric literature in the world or not. This is more about to learn how to use these energies consciously, instead of an unaware and animalistic level (which is also useful). This is about exchange with your partner, weaving a carpet of love and energy that goes way beyond the satisfaction of an physical orgasm. It’s a deep experience that has a more lasting effect on your psyche on different levels: your ego will feel very happy about all that deep attention it received, your body is humming with energy, your soul is touched on an intimate level, that hardly exist in everyday life.

Let’s go back to my tiny ego problems …

I shed my biggest tears about sensual deprivation. I want to be touched and massaged in a fulfilling way. Once again this is an area where I did some workshops, loads of massage exchanges (with people from different massage ‘traditions’) and of course energy work. In the age of consumer Ayuveda and global esoterica, it seems very hard to find people to celebrate such a basic human ‘thing’: to touch and be touched in a nice way without any sexual drive behind it.

What drives me nuts, is that so called ‘normal’ people have such a hard time giving and receiving a simple pleasure as touching from someone else. It’s always an exclusive thing, just reserved for the one and only true partner or lover.

What a poor and limited concept.

I guess before we ever reach the stage of universal love, we need to explore the universal touch first. If you are afraid of simply touching someone in a pleasant and friendly way, how can you open your heart & mind for compassion or even love for the whole universe?

*repost 2003-09-13*

Behind every fairy tale lies often a deeper psychological and cultural message. So Rotkäppchen and her encounter with the big bad wolf has a sexual side to it as well - the furry old creature is the horny Grandfather. Understanding myths is still an important skill, since our subconscious still works with rather primitive archetypes and concepts.

I can highly recommend Joseph Campbell’s Power of Myth (book, DVD, audio tapes) to anyone who wants to look deeper.

A highly interesting article over at the Scientific American Mind. Neurosciene is still very young, we hardly know how our brains and minds work.

Don’t you love blame games?

Remember poor Lyndie England. Is she a great scapegoat, a brave soldier or just a mislead soul in a unjust war?

Since I am a sort of draft dodger I can’t relate to people who go to the military. Plus I don’t know how I would behave in a situation like Iraq, Vietnam or Afghanistan.

I once read that old British military tradition tried to evoke ‘presence of mind’ in their soldiers. This presence of mind seems clearly missing in this case and many others we read about during the War on Terror.

But I wonder, how anyone can stay present with death, torture, mayhem and human chaos around them? Isn’t that the perfect situation to close down anything left human inside of you and go robotic? Just following orders?

Soldiers should never be left alone, human should never be left alone. We are social animals and we need others to guide us in difficult situations … one sane mind can stop an insane crowd … sometimes …

I find this old idea that animals have no emotions or a soul is very disturbing. I can’t guarantee that a dog’s soul will go to heaven, but anyone who ever handled an animal know that they have feelings too.

They certainly feel pain - and many animals like Elephants, Wolfs, Chimps and Dolphins have shown that they have a very rich social life as well. And there is no social life without relationships and feelings - no matter how primitive they are compared to ours.

Anyone how owns a pet like a dog or cat has seen them dreaming and do strange stuff while sleeping …

Life is harsh when you kick start the human spirit.

Humankind has spent a long time worshipping gods - since the modern Cro-magnon appeared and kicked the Neanderthal out of existence. One of the main difference between us and our ancestors is our imagination and therefore adaptability. No other ancestor started language, cave paintings or complex cultures.

But our imagination is also our greatest enemy. Where we lacked knowledge we invented ‘things’ to fill the gaps. So in shock and awe about nature we invented spirits, ghosts and gods to explain thunder, death and a lot of other annoying things.

Me Artist! Me Paint! Me Talk to Horsy Spirit! Me Shaman! Bow to me!

As our mental capabilities expanded so did our cultures, language and religions. If you look at the history of religions you also see how their concepts and liturgy evolved in complexity. But the human intellect is an amazing thing - and once our basic civilization was established smarter heads started to questions the gods themselves (like Epicurus).

They already concluded that nature is everything and that the gods are nothing. Even things like the atom were discussed long before they had the means to research it’s existence. Human imagination can work far beyond your cultural and technological limits.

But religion also proved to be a great tool over power - and rulers always like to have a divine backing. The people can ruled much easier if their leaders are in favor with the gods - not matter how dubious those connections are. And almost all cultures have creations myths that make THEM the chosen ones. For example the Japanese track themselves back to the sun goddess Amaterasu. I personally like the imagination and complexity of Hinduism. You hardly find a more colorful universe of gods.

The Enemies of my Religion are also our Enemies. Let’s crush them, because we are the Chosen ones …

As religion is an attempt to explain the universe (and therefore a search for the ultimate truth) it leads to science. Almost all early European scientist were dedicated Christians, who were VERY curious how god managed to run the whole show. Too bad that they discovered that the old stories of all religions weren’t true: the earth was neither the center of the universe nor was it formed out of a slain giants body.

But parallel to the myths of religion (and fairy tales) we humans discovered spirituality, our own psyche, the secrets of our minds and a new love for the beauty of the universe. Almost all major religions have their smaller departments dedicated to more serious spiritual paths - which are often more demanding and more abstract then the normal liturgy for the common follower. A truely dedicated lifestyle of a Yogi or Jesuit priest is NOT everyone - it’s very demanding. And people are unwilling to really give everything for their gods. Self preservation is usually stronger then religion.

Are you a true follower of your God(s)?! Spiritual nakedness and Yogi tea are not for everybody you know …?!

Life - the last twenty thousand years - was quite harsh to humans. Simply getting enough food was tough enough. Life was always very unfair and scary. Religion also helped to cope with fear and survival - tight rules and rituals helped tribes to survive and unite under a common banner/purpose. Religion also helped us to ‘organize’ power and hierarchies.

Religion helped us to survive and was one of the first components of our cultures. But culture will continue to evolve - even the evolution of ideas is pretty unstoppable.

Many people say that science is the true enemy of the gods or any religion. But no - our cultural evolution is the true ‘enemy’ (if you can speak in such terms anyway).

Cultural evolution brings not only full stomachs, but a separation of powers, the rule of the law, a more mutual sharing of technologies, education, medical supplies and science.

In the early 1500s European Christianity was becoming more and more aware of those ‘other’ religions and world views - simply because travel and trade was coming back to roman standards. In a monotheistic religion/society it’s much more shocking to hear that there is an alternative to just the one ‘true’ god. Polytheistic societies never had that problem to such an extend - they could cope with (just) another god …

The same Country and same God - three different groups fighting to the Death. A bit odd isn’t it?!

Luxuries like human rights, democracy, free markets and the separation of powers didn’t appear until the late 1700s in Europe. Instead of just fighting for survival, we could dedicate (again) more resources to social evolution and exploration, because we finally had the understanding how to help ourselves and survive.

Also we started to rule ourselves less by divine appointment, but by social and political ideas. The concept of the national identity was supplanting religious identities - especially in Europe after those devastating and fruitless religious wars.

So in some way Martin Luther’s idea split the Christian atom (much more then the catholic (western) and orthodox (eastern) separation before). This big bang lead to the Age of Enlightenment. But it was paid with a lot of blood and burned bodies.

He challenged the Power of the Church and tried to put believe back into Christianity.

Looking back in our history one could say we have fought many wars between conflicting cultural ideas: from tribes uniting under one religion, to great religions fighting each other and social ideas fighting religions to establish a new order within a bigger cultural context.

Overall our cultures evolved to ever increasing social structures: from tribes to kingdoms, from kingdoms to nation states, from nation states to continental entities (like the EU).

But old ideas never completely die: we still have tribalism as well as religion amongst us. The wars of the 1990’s in the Balkans and current conflicts between Muslims and Christians show how deep these old ideas are still embedded in our cultural DNA.

The Founding Fathers of America - one of the greatest moments in History. They put the Nation before God, the Citizen before their Rulers.

The idea of the nation state or even atheism are pretty new - hardly a couple of centuries old - compared to tens of thousands of years of tribalism and religions.

I say no more gods please - they had several thousand years to enlighten us, put an end to suffering, spread universal love and understanding. Gods and religions have failed to do so - although they had more then enough time and cost us a huge amount of life’s.

We are currently struggling to implement new concepts into our cultural evolution: a truly global society, universal human rights, total religious freedom (or betters say to protect ‘true’ believers from each other) and a free flow of information. No surprise people are scared and more blood is shed. But overall our current democratic, socialist and capitalist ‘ideas’ have feed and clothed more people then ever - safety and education are still on the rise although we still experience huge humanitarian catastrophes (like in Darfur or Africa in general).

Since democracy, technology and science have started to spread - we as a race have prospered more then ever. Gods didn’t build schools and hospitals, fed and clothed the poor, educated and explored the human potential - and this potential also includes our spirituality and imagination.

*repost from 2005*

Whatever you see here depends on your attitude!

You swine …

We are told, our brains have so much potential. I just wonder why we hardly use it. Are our brains holding our brains back? Who else?

I love you.
I love YOU.
I love you.

Please repeat forever in random order.

It’s amazing how the most sophisticated brain on this planet gets pretty limited by the right cocktail or hormones and mental stimulation. Some brain scientists have compared brains in love to serious conditions of mental illness, because it’s often over stimulated and highly stressed. Happiness overkill. But the ‘good’ news is, that no body can keep up that high outpouring of internal chemicals - so the stress will go away and your subject of desire will turn into a normal human and so will you.

Some problems in life seem huge and you feel only tiny and insignificant. But David did beat Goliath - and small pinch in the right place can even make giant run away. Take your chance!

The intranets provide a cute safety net if you feel stressed out, unloved or empty. Just click for something cute - and your day brightens up. So the net becomes an emotional one-click-pony: Click-Cute-and-Relax!

We humans have the great ability to empathize: we can feel what we see. We feel the cuddly moments and gentleness of such sweet snaps. We become the picture we watch - we become the little fluffy being being cared for. For an instant we are without weight, memory and pain.

The emotional rush is better than chocolate, caffeine and Prozac. Escape the harshness of your life with a cute instant gratification.

So what’s your attitude to life? Is it all dangerous out there and you have to fight for everything? Every women, every men for her- or himself? Or do you think you are a poor soul and the universe owes you something? Or do you feel lost in search for some understanding and support from someone? Or do you think this is a great place full of wonders and challenges?

Change your attitude - and change the universe - overnight!

To RGB or CMYK - that’s the Question!

You are a person with many interests and many skills? You love art, you produce art - but you also live with a huge pile of creative guilt? Welcome to the club! It’s hard to be a digital artist, since your computer enables you to run amazing tools - which have been unthinkable twenty years ago. A creative powerhouse in one small box.

Wanna make a movie? No problem use Adobe Premiere or AfterEffects. Are you a graphics person? Your choice is vast and wide - Photoshop, Illustrator, FreeHand, Painter - to name but a few. Wanna go 3D and do amazing effects or animations. Once again the list boasts absolutely amazing tools like Lightwave, Maya, 3D Max.

Oh my - you are a creative person! Wow!

You make music and love to sample and tweak sounds? A small feat these days - cool software is cheaply available, even Star Wars was remixed on a simple PowerBook using everyday digital tools and even great modern musicians use the same Samplers, Synths and Sequencer like you do.

Not to forget our good old writing tools to produce anything ranging from articles or complete books! You can go from a simple solution like Microsoft Word up to publishing powerhouses like Quark or InDesign. And how about your own web page or weblog? I am sure you want to show the world what you are capable off, let’s buy Flash, Dreamweaver or GoLive?

You had enough? Fine.

More human than human - welcome to the new 3D art universe (image: Miles Estes)

Modern designer are rapped and pushed to be digital renaissance artists - nothing is impossible. Since the DTP revolution in the late 80’s smashed the old lines between technician and artist - we creative types have to be both today a Geek and a Michelangelo in one person.

Once it used to be enough to excel as a writer, painter or photographer - know you have to be you own typesetter, reproduction expert, scanner and editor etc. as well. But since this is the analog2digital (A2D) generation we love to have multiple choice - since we know how limited we felt with our old tools: clunky typewriter, tipex, letraset letters, dirty chemicals to develop slides, dangerous cutters, slow snailmail and mechanical copy processes to name a few. No surprise: we love absolute control and absolute choice.

Welcome to a mad artists world.

But it’s driving us mad. Instead being limited to a certain area of art or projects we suddenly find ourselves doing a thousand creative things all at once: writing articles & weblogs, drawing illustrations, retouching photos, programming web sites, layouting a new CV and looking for background music for our presentations.

Did you really think one huge monitor would be enough?!

So much to do, so little time and energy. And the web as a global showcase doesn’t make things easier. There is a constant stream of competition and inspiration to cope with. Have you seen those cool Japanese animations? This great Danish photographer? These old retro covers of some weird fashion magazine?

All these choices, ideas and doors waiting to be opened drive any creator mad. The total overflow of choice makes it hard to focus on just one project, just one set of skills, just one insanely great idea. A tough decision for anyone who loves to surf in possibilities.

Modern artists still want and need to be kissed by their Muses as well.

And we feel a lot of guilt of not pursuing all those ideas that pop up in our minds. The guilt of not pursuing another great business idea or product the world desperately needs. We get paralyzed by all the doors we could jump through and enjoy another adventure in creativeland. And this guilt sucks big time.

Anything else Sir? But there is an additional problem: business. Today’s clients and employers all want a young super geeks with a Maestro’s thirty years of experience and wide ranging skill set. But just one arty farty person please. We are on a tight budget these days.

Ah, when art was simple and computers limited. (Image: Andres Becerra)

So it’s really hard to say ‘I am just an illustrator’ or ‘I can only write good articles’, since you don’t want to cut yourself out of the market. So we learn and buy many different software packages, try to stay on top of a gazillion technologies, names and gizmos. But most of all, we lose the time, energy and focus to be masters of our trade - to be simply open, productive and creative.

Although art involves knowledge and craftsmanship as well, once again we should start to make distinctions between mastering expressive techniques and mastering production technologies.

There is a difference between animating something and writing a flash script. There is a difference between composing a great stream of words to entice your readers and operating a content management system. There is a difference between taking great pictures and layout an art book. Let artists be artists, technicians be technicians and geek’s … oh well …

*repost 2003-08-19*

It’s a feature - not a bug!

My basic question: Is there a religion without fear?

Although we seem to find the motive or promise of love or eternal bliss in so many religions - we also find the element of fear and some form of damnation in them as well. There always seems a special place for the faithful: like Heaven or Valhalla. Even the concept of Nirvana is in it’s metaphorical meaning similar to a blessed place - compared to the wheel of reincarnation.

Read the rest of this entry »

Isn’t love great? Somewhere out there waits your perfect soulmate for you. Right? Wrong! If there is one idea in the spiritual scene that drives me nuts it’s the illusion of the soulmate, because it’s so wonderful egoistic and blatant unspiritual …

The very idea of the soul mate is so very appealing: the great cosmos has just the perfect match for you in store. You now longer need to surf russianbrides.com or draw angel cards in the morning to find him or her.

What is your soul mate supposed to be? First of all, this person connects to you on an extremely deep level - yay - it’s not just the usual shared interests and screwing all day - this time it’s spiritual!

I just wonder what a connection on ’soul level’ really means? Total understanding? That would rather imply you are clones of each other, not very exciting. And why is total understanding so important that makes it such a top priority to most people within relationships?

It’s one of the main mental fixations of stressed modern individualists that hardly anyone understands them. Why does nobody understand you - simple in most cases: people hardly communicate and care for each other anymore. To know a person well and participate in their lives takes a serious amount of time and dedication. Sending an eCard from work and met once in while to have a latte together hardly counts as ‘involved’.

In an era, where many people suffer from loneliness, depressions (harhar) and single lifestyle - nobody wants to embarrass themselves or their friends by being ‘emotional’, ‘high maintenance’ or ‘too serious’. It’s the age of easy friendships, fun and laughter … join the party and don’t you dare to come depressed. Join the fucking prozac nation of happiness.

So a ‘good understanding’ of another person can be achieved with some work and time - you don’t need a soulmate for that one. To connect to other people is a simple set of social skills, not a big spiritual task.

Back to the ‘connecting at soul level’ - another illusion about the soulmate is the reincarnation myth. Would it be great walk the path to nirvana with friends, lovers and family from former lifetimes?

I personally believe in reincarnation, but that’s as much thought I give about the whole thing. Why? It doesn’t matter that we already lived once or a hundred times. I am living now! I must take responsibility about people and actions I do in this lifetime. Spending to much time thinking about reincarnation is like trying to insure yourself against life …

People love the whole karma thing, because it’s an easy way to score points for being a good person! The concept of good and bad karma is very ‘logical’ and appealing for spiritual types (like saving points in your local supermarket - but only for the next life). But it confuses most of them. It transforms them into karma nazis: ‘Oh look at this crippled guy over there, he must had have bad karma in his last life, that’s why he is so disfigured in this life.’

Why do people love the idea of karmic relationships - lasting several life spans? It’s a nice romantic idea: life lasts only once, love forever. This idea seems to appeal especially to women or men who like to cling to their partners. ‘Hey, I will be stuck on you for several reincarnations - how do you like that?’ Yuck!

Since nobody can proof we really incarnate, there is also no proof our souls come back as the same or similar package. And this is a stupid idea anyway. The whole idea of the karma cycle is that you try improve yourself and come back as a more evolved soul (depending what you did last time and what you have to learn on your next tour). Some traditions say that our soul lives start as insects or other less aware life forms. We hopefully graduate with each experience on this earth to finally exit to nirvana anyway.

What would be the point of reincarnation, if the same old boring you would come back like a television rerun? This would be like Groundhog day, repeating yourself with the same people and mistakes until you ‘get it’? Nah …

Most boring of all: why would you spent your next lifetime with the very same souls you already met last time? If this cosmos stand for one thing it’s diversity and complexity - there are billions of different stars, alone on this planet we have millions of species and again billions of life forms walking this earth. I bet my life that the spiritual cosmos is at least as complex, colorful and chaotic as the real one (if a separation exists at all!).

And in this universe nothing gets lost nor wasted. My guess: like matter gets reused to build stars, dogs and biscuits - spiritual energy won’t get lost, but recreated into a new soul.

Let’s get to the most egoistic part of the soulmate thing: that there is an exclusive partner in the universe just for you to love and live with. What an ego centric view of spirituality. First of all we are ALL soulmates! It’s the very idea of almost all religions and spiritual traditions is that we all have a soul and are equally created before God(s).

Another very basic spiritual idea that speaks against the exclusive soulmate is the concept of universal love. An enlightened being should be able to love everyone and everything the same way. An exclusive soulmates does ‘not compute’ within the equation of universal love.

And speaking of love or rather lovemaking we come to the last, but deepest illusion about the soulmate. Screwing your soulmate is supposed to catapult you to a higher state of consciousness - the perfect cosmic fuck guarantees the perfect cosmic bliss. Heaven on earth. The ultimate union between two people, surfing the spiritual energy wave. Enlightenment by super pussy and long dong lingam.

I certainly subscribe to this very idea, since I have done tantra and still adore many of it’s ideas.  But the ultimate orgasm is not the end nor the means to enlightenment. It’s a great moment, you relax, you are happy, you are loved and love. But does it really make you a better person?

But using a soulmate as a substitute for your own happiness or enlightenment is a feeble excuse: ‘When I’ve found my soulmate everything will be fine.’ Nah, spiritual work is your own lonely duty.

Once again the idea of the soulmate is just used by the ego to promise itself a better life … another illusion to get rid off to come closer to this state of existence.

Soulmates? They are all around you. Don’t try to screw them all, start by with accepting them in their crazy variety and with all their sins. Most of all: start loving yourself in an universal way and share that feel to everyone and everything …

*repost 2003-10-05*

Do you own pictures of dead people? Not just people you knew who have died - but people you never met, but are part of your family’s history? Our fear of death has made us produce great ancestral art, monuments, long chains of memory - to give us some reassurance that not all is lost, because of death.

Our psyche can’t cope with death - therefore we simplify it, try to make it understandable, to trick ourselves into believing that we or our loved ones continue in some way.

BBC News:  Pedophiles’ brains ‘different’

We have just begun to understand ourselves, how our brains and our minds work. Psychology and neuro sciences are pretty young.

Chemical imbalance, a small injury or a tumor can totally change your personality - your desires and moral judgement.

I think neither our justice system or society care about these insights. We often consider terrible things like Pedophilia a choice. In some cases it might be - but we are all slaves to our brains. Even ‘normal’ people can totally run amok when their brains get whacked.

We need more science on this, better laws and understanding of ourselves. In this area there are no simple answers.

We still consider babies and little kids as symbols of innocence and purity. But can a ‘blank’ mind in training be considered innocent unless it has developed it’s full potential?

What I find even more odd is the overall desire to be ‘good’ and be ‘clean’ - without any spots on your soul/mind. To accept your own power and potential in an ‘unfair’ and ‘uneven’ universe you have to get ‘your hands dirty’. The desire to stay clean sounds rather like cowardice not to get involved.

But what’s the point of having a mind and not using it to get involved? What’s the point of being alive, if you don’t muddle with your own existence and power?

Some Madness from time to time is very healthy. It’s the minds defense mechanism against unbearable feelings or moments. Madness is a way to cope with the real insanity outside. It’s like a mental flu, brain fever or soul burning! Go thru the darkness of madness to cleanse yourself of false limits, rules and obligations. Free yourself by going bonkers!

I have searched far and wide - but I haven’t found a single religion nor spiritual discipline that made pathetic behavior for it’s followers mandatory. Do you know one?! But people love being pathetic, doesn’t matter if they are new age incense burners or old school Catholics. They all go for it! You can see sparkling eyes and hear thundering voices during sales presentation as well as in churches and meditation centers. Being pathetic seems to work like an universal fudge to help us poor humans to make ourselves and our believes larger than life - whenever we need to feel bigger …

The show must go on! Why do we love pathos? Does it help us to be better believers or sinners?

Religious or spiritual practices mostly work with rules and rituals to help, educate and guide it’s followers to god/enlightenment. It doesn’t matter if you go the way of the Yogi, Buddha, Tantra or Catholic, you are expected to follow certain rules or better say ‘frame of mind’ to reach enlightenment. Since practice makes you perfect, this is always an ongoing process with no brakes and bonuses. Spirituality mostly means working with yourself, which can be pretty boring, annoying and most of all very personal.

But how do you know you are on the right track? Not everybody gets the treat of a burning bush or a booming voice from the sky. Do you feel happy if you are just a good Buddhist? Can you hear angels singing if God acknowledges your good deeds? How does it feel to be holy?

Now this a dangerous trap: since most spiritual practices are boring or hard work - and our egos love instant gratification - we go for great pathetic moments. Something that makes us feel better about being spiritual. We basically trick ourselves into feeling good or even holy - without ‘Gods’ approval.

Very nasty.

I am sure all the devils and demons agree that this is the right moment to seduce believers into false security and push them a bit further to indulge in into even more spiritual vanity.

Especially the human mob mentality is a great vehicle for pathetic temptations. People love shows, the bigger the better. The greater the show, the more powerful your god. And doesn’t it feel good to have the biggest cosmic buddy on the block? Or show off your God’s powers by building the biggest mega church, temple or mosque on this planet?

Of course pathos also helps when you practice your particular brand of spirituality at home. There is always a thin line between lighting a candle as a help for meditation or just to create a nicer atmosphere. And there is still the questions if lighting a candle really makes you a better person anyway. Tools, gizmos and gimmicks are a sure indicator for pathetic believers. The catchphrase is Kitsch-Religion.

Pathos is spiritual masturbation, a poor substitute for real insights and rewards from hard practice (yes, I don’t believe in instant gratification just for a nice and good person). Who or whatever you choose as your personal God or Heaven - they won’t deliver manna pills to your front door, just because you have subscribed to their point of view. In most spiritual paths the ‘good stuff’ comes from ridding yourself from ego barriers and connecting to the rest of the universe. Amen Dude!

A pathetic ritual or practice is as useless as no spirituality at all. It’s even more dangerous if you show and infect other people with your pathos. As every entertainer or stage magician can tell you, people love to be impressed and seduced. They will always go for big words, pathetic tears of joy and glorious promises instead of the simple ugly truth. The ministry of health warns: pathetic religious advertising is bad for your soul!

Let’s keep it close and personal. Being pathetic during your personal daily routine or rituals may help to bridge any emptiness or doubt you might have, but that’s not the real stuff. Pathos is a great smokescreen to make your own fears disappear … at least for some time. But isn’t that one of the most basic and essential challenges in life: to face your own fears? Your very own questions and doubts about life, love and the rest of the universe?

*repost 2003-12-01*

Some people call it love, others call it hormones. Some people call it lust, others call it hormones as well. Our brain loves drugs and loves being in love. That pink feeling is just the nicest kick around.

We are all idiots on this world - because none of us has figured out what’s it all about. But we can share the madness, beauty and laughter - and finally die in the end.

And dying is a stupid thing to do anyway … but we all do it.

Hey, this spiritual stuff is real work!

In our age of convenience food, easy to swallow capsules and easy credit there is also a big need for instant enlightenment. Although every language seems to know it’s own version of “no pain no gain” the effort to do the inner or outer journey to a more fulfilled life is not very trendy - unless it comes with the label new age and can be done during a weekend workshop.

So what about it? Can’t spirituality be done with a bit of crying, drumming and tree hugging in a safe space where everybody can breath deeeeep aaaand leeet goooo?

Eeeeep! Wrong answer. Surely tree hugging might help, but spirituality is a constant process of change, reflection and renewal. Sure a weekend is great to kick it off or go deeper into a particular subject, but this might only be milestones on your personal journey.

I feel alive - when I am drowning!

Spirituality is like swimming, you simply can’t stop doing it while you are in the stream of life, otherwise you go down.

Your constant movement in your own waters should help you to reach for a higher state of consciousness, which supports your journey.

First a few words about consciousness. Most people confuse their minds or analytical abilities with it. Joseph Campell - great writer and mythologist - once said “where energy is, there is also consciousness”. Plant’s and animal have consciousness - and even your body has it’s own form of consciousness, it not just the mind by itself.

Consciousness connects you to the world, it’s awareness of what is happening, it let’s you change/direct energy, feel it and relate to it, it opens yourself to the outer and inner world. Thinking in these terms it makes a lot of sense to get into a higher state of consciousness, since it allows you to do more, be closer to yourself and your path.

Hey, it’s all so easy!

We all know situations in our life’s when we are distracted, stressed and out of focus - altogether a lower state of consciousness. Almost every known form of spirituality offer exercises or methods to recenter yourself and find your inner balance. For someone it might be running, the next person prays, meditates or simply watches the sky. Any method is valid as long it centers yourself and helps to achieve that higher state.

Another great value of the higher and complete state of consciousness is, that it can much better deal with paradoxes, confusing emotions and inner pictures. Our normal mind is usually trained to deal with “cause & effect” logical problems. So if we hit a road bump that goes way beyond simple human logic our analytical self gets confused, stuck, frustrated. Sheer willpower seems often to make it worse then actually pulling us out of our misery.

Most of our personal problems are way beyond logical/mental conflicts. It’s usually a mixture out of your ego, interpersonal barriers/communication, emotional needs/wants and social interaction. A very potent mixture that is way beyond simple “yes”, “no” and “maybe” thinking.

The higher consciousness (the whole yourself) has a much better chance of solving the problem, since it will connect to your problem on many levels. It should also include your subconscious which helps to develop creativity and visions. You need these “tools” to break and expand your current abilities or current perception of your situation.

I have problems - therefore I am.

Now this is very important: Most of our problems arise from a limited vision or knowledge of a situation. If it’s a simple logical or knowledge problem, your mind will do to acquire a new piece of information, integrate it in your life and solve the little bugger. BUT if your problem/limit is more complex you need a more complex set of solutions and tools.

Here is a simple problem with a typical logical dilemma - and a more expanded solution:

I want to have a walk in the park and enjoy the sunshine, but I am stopped in my tracks by a bloody sign that tells me to go off the grass. Now my mind faces a very common dualistic dilemma: either I accept to get overruled by that sign I am frustrated, because my day in the park is spoiled OR I ignore the sign and risk social confrontation.

I am stuck with two logical choices, both with their own not completely satisfying solutions.

In a higher state of consciousness I can observe that my little ego wants something and it wants it right now, so the little sign is frustrating my ego big time. Looking beyond my anger/frustration cycle I am becoming aware of other solutions, like going to a different park or growing out of similar situations where I bring myself into conflict with an authority.

This was simple - right? Now add to that situation a charming lady I want to impress plus a policemen and maybe some other elements and you can see it can get pretty complex pretty easily.

But let’s go back to deeper personal problems.

Wakeup from your own limited matrix.

Like I said before we are mostly limited by our own egos or visions, like if I can’t see myself as the new departement head I will never go for it. We can’t manifest “actions” in real life if we lack the vision, confidence and relationship for them. So this is not just a case of “do I have the right qualifications for the job” but a more complex inner problem.

Here it helps to work with your consciousness and subconscious on your inner limits - so what’s holding me back to become the department head? How do I feel about this job? Do I really want it? Why am I holding myself back - what are the motivations behind that? Why do I have such strange associations with success that I am holding back?

This is soul searching at it’s best!

If one faces negative or destructive inner patterns, lack of motivation and visions then creativity is needed to create new patterns, visions and associations. If your inner world is limiting you - how can you grow. Humans need to grow like plants. If their pot is to small there will be a lot of pain …

Everybody dreams of bigger mice to catch.

This is why a good connection to your subconscious is so important, since it’s the best source for inner pictures/visions that might explain what’s holding back as well as creating better ones. Instead of “thinking it all thru” you expand your complete inner cosmos to deal in a better way with a more complex life. You not only get new insights but also happier life.

For example if I start my positive reprogramming by dreaming about myself in that new position that would help to dissolve old barriers. Another way is consciously sitting down and imagining myself to do this job. Every great athlete knows this kind of exercises, like running the track in your mind before you actually start. A new job might be a lot of work, but dissolving my barriers would enrich my life and new perspectives.

So soul searching is a constant process of a higher consciousness sorting out old and useless associations and visions you might have and replacing them with vital and healthy new ones. It might be painful to let go of some old and beloved ideas/visions, but they simply limit you … get the expanded new version for free from your subconscious and have a happier life.

*repost 2003-08-03*