No matter who much cuteness, pink and kitsch you stuff into your life - it will end. The question is: How much real substance do you want? How much effort are you willing to invest into you own life? And how much pain are you willing to endure to reach your full potential?

Sounds to harsh? Well then choose the way of modern consumerism and try to get the easy & fluffy ticket until death.

The easy way out will always be there.

If you are poor and stuck in some backwater place your choices are limited. To have a choice is a luxury - not many people enjoy that privilege.

But to develop different perspectives on life you need to have the luxury of self observation and time to reflect. And some brains and some education help too.

Many of our fellow humans are still simply trying to survive and lead a decent life - without a break to think about themselves, learn more about culture and spirituality - or having the resources to start a ‘new’ or ‘different’ life.

If you can afford all these things and you can think - than use these gifts. Otherwise you are wasting yourself and the chance to improve society. Self improvement is not a one way street - as part of a bigger community all bonuses and deficits are added or subtracted from the ‘big picture’.

Angst is the main reasons why we fail many tasks. Simply being scared can reduce the smartest and most competent humans to a shaky nothing.

But why is fear itself so terrible? Because it ‘kills’ our capability to think straight.

Our brains have so called lower and higher brain functions - based on in which part of the brain they are situated. (Click here to read a very well done introduction to the brain).

Our Stem Brain is the most automatic and stupidest part of the brain. It controls the (survival) reflexes/instincts and acts first (instead of ‘thinking’). Fear is not only a mental reaction (meaning it’s not just firing up your neurons to work harder), but also a chemical reaction. Adrenaline is pumped into our system and all muscles get ready for some action. Your heart and lungs start working harder too - pumping more oxygen into your system for extra power. And your brain actually speeds up thinking in dangerous situation - that is why fearful and dangerous situations are often described with "and time stood still".

Fight or flight is fears dedicated motto - on a most primitive survival level. That is why the body and mind go into overdrive to get yourself out of the danger zone if fear kicks in. But modern life is mostly social or work related stress. We are no longer faced with lions hunting us down or surviving in nature.

All these physical preparations for Fight-or-Flight happen before your higher brain functions can kick in: take control and really THINK.

To deal with fear, calming yourself down and really work the problem is hard work for your brain and has to be trained. An untrained brain simply goes into survival mode and acts on reflexes (which can be sometimes good in physically dangerous situations).

It takes some effort and training to learn to deal with fear - so your higher brain functions get the upper hand and you can think before you act - thus controlling your natural instincts and reflexes.

Let’s train da brain …

Here are some pointer of training yourself to deal with fear and stress:

1. Mental Awareness: Unless you realize that you are in a state or fear or extreme stress you can’t act upon it. Some people literally go blank when they are in stress or fear. You have to learn to stay aware and realize that you are full of fear.
2. Physical Awareness: Once you get hold of your brain you should check how your body is doing. There is a huge difference between a little faster heart beat or totally shaking with fear. Or even pissing yourself because of fear. Some people even can’t see straight. So check your breathing, heart rate, sight, shakiness, stomach for fear syndromes. Realize how excited and stressed you already are to determine the effects of adrenaline and stress on yourself.
3. Threat Assessment: In a physically threatening situation your body might have already acted (like pulling your hand out of fire), but in many modern fearful and stressful situations this is useless. You don’t kill your boss  (fight) or run away (flight), just because he gives you an evaluation. And there is no reason to shot your Laptop, because your Windows update fucked up. So wrap your head around the problem and see beyond the fear.
4. Calming Down: You should instantly start to cool down your system. Take control of your breathing - stop any hyperventilating if you are not planning to Fight or Flight. Also get a grip on your posture, don’t crouch like a ‘frightened coward’, but get upright for self esteem and and better control. Really tell yourself to calm down, realize that you are still alive and able to deal with the problem. It is important to understand that the Adrenaline in your blood will take some time to go away. So don’t expect total control in a few seconds.
5. Switching to higher Thinking: Our brains are magnificent, but they also need some time to get working. It’s no use to stress yourself into thinking straight - more stress doesn’t help. Try to give yourself a mental break before engaging into problem solving - if the situation allows it. So step back or take yourself OUT of the stressful situation, before confronting it. If you can’t ‘escape’ physically, than give yourself a short mental vacation: thinking of something nice, a great moment in your life or someone who loves you can calm you down and give you that positive ‘breather’ you might need. Sidenote: many people like to stress themselves, because they think they can think better under stress (no pun intended). This is not true: you brain is simply more active and you experience yourself ‘on fire’. It’s like hitting your thumb with a hammer to feel it better.
6. Concentrate on the Problem: Our minds need input to be creative and come up with a solution (see also this article about problem solving on Wikipedia). So learn to analyze problems - don’t focus on the fear or what scares you. Also don’t get into an anger mode if something just shocked or scared you. Anger is as much a ‘mind killer’ as fear. The easiest way to deal with problems is cutting them down to ‘acceptable chunks’. One step at a time. Later when your mind is working again you can assemble the ‘full horror’ in it’s complexity - but for starters CUT IT DOWN. Dealing with smaller chunks will yield faster results and give you back some calm and self esteem for actually solving something.

Why are there no fitness centers to train your psyche and mind to have more endurance and dexterity?

Those are a few simple pointers to understand yourself and what kind of effects fear has on your mind.

Don’t be afraid of fear - the mind killer - you mind can be trained to deal with it and solve the real problem afterwards.  

As a sperm you already won the race with your father’s other competitors. But in the end you can only exit the game like every other player - dead.

For all the competition in life there is no real winning, no real first prize or looser. All you can do is breath, develop your potential, maybe clone yourself and raise your kids. Have fun and enjoy yourself on the way to your grave - because that’s the most you get out of it.

Often when people try to be scary it’s rather pathetic or simply funny. But what if you are scaring people without even trying? Are you projecting a hate shield to keep people away? Or are you a Guru, who’s insights scare the ignorant and stubborn? Or are you simply a mean spirit?

Being scary is not a compliment - it’s usually an ego deficit transformed into fear and violence.

New Age gurus and motivational trainers seem obsessed to hammer positive thinking and the idea of always constructing win-win situations in everybody’s minds.

Loosing or failing is one of the best ways to learn something. So failing is actually the best way to become a master at anything. Failure teaches us a lot.

But more important is the ‘deconstruction’ of the dualism of winning and loosing. Once you get rid of of the cultural and social pressure and concept of ‘being a winner’ or ‘being a sore looser’ life gets MUCH easier.

Once you get rid of this judgmental concept in your psyche you can go with your flow and open up your mind for creativity and collaboration without a ‘winning’ end result. Creating something excellent is not the same as winning a trophy.

There is a huge difference between being declared brilliant and being brilliant …

Most esoteric types like to ‘go with the flow’. Extra effort or dealing with harsh obstacles or barriers don’t appeal to them. It’s always very cool and ZEN like to NOT want anything out of life or work to get SOMETHING.

But life is physical as well as metaphysical. Rewards for both planes of existence are worth some effort. And it is nice and rewarding to have accomplished something for yourself and others by NOT going with the flow.

People like Gandhi, Albert Einstein or Martin Luther didn’t go with the flow and waited for change - and they changed the world.

Achieving something means often to break your own comfort zone, work long hours and enduring serious pain. Often the result can be nothing, but sometimes it can be everything.

Some problems may look terribly threatening, but you’ll might discover that they have only a ‘limited range’ in your life. Just because something has teeth it doesn’t mean it can bite you all the time and everywhere.

So try stepping back and get a bigger picture when something snaps at you.

There are days that simply suck. There is no cosmic nor carmic reason for it. So indulge your misery or simply decide to snap out of it. A happy psyche can create a happy day …

Every year around this time my fight with Winter Depression starts. Not enough light - and therefore not enough happiness. Since this is the 21st century this condition has a nice and serious sounding medical name attached to it - Seasonal Affective Disorder - which can be shortened into ‘SAD’. No shit Sherlock!

But this year I’ll fight back! Thanks to the intranets I bought one of many light therapy devices. If it doesn’t make me happy - at least my electricity provider will be (although most of these devices use no more power then a normal light bulb).

More? Wikipedia on Light therapy

Being defeated in public is embarrassing. A tough thing is hard to overcome. But people love the comeback kid - but only if you are brave enough to learn from your defeat, stand up and try again.

Sometimes a forceful motivation for others to think can kill all thought process. Gentle teasing should be used at all times while dealing with humans.

Some spiritual disciplines are so focused on transcending everything that they can’t appreciate the silly side of life any more. If you can’t laugh no more, you are already dead and have to be reborn as a sitcom character. Laughter is good for the soul and an excellent tool to overcome fear.

Don’t try to be a Saint, try to be a proper Human first. Have you already developed your full potential?

Sometimes there is a huge reward waiting for those who take action and have the courage for a bold move. Don’t be afraid - take heart and take your chances …

Since their is no such thing as a ‘universal fairness’ clause we have to cope with pretty heavy problems from time to time in our life’s. Some people say challenges can make you grow, but some challenges simply knock you out. Not every bad situation has a ‘good’ aspect, not every problem will make you grow and help you to become a better or even happier person.

Grow! Jump! Reach out! There are always things beyond our current limits - so we have to go beyond our limited self’s. It’s worth it.

Life is harsh when you kick start the human spirit.

Humankind has spent a long time worshipping gods - since the modern Cro-magnon appeared and kicked the Neanderthal out of existence. One of the main difference between us and our ancestors is our imagination and therefore adaptability. No other ancestor started language, cave paintings or complex cultures.

But our imagination is also our greatest enemy. Where we lacked knowledge we invented ‘things’ to fill the gaps. So in shock and awe about nature we invented spirits, ghosts and gods to explain thunder, death and a lot of other annoying things.

Me Artist! Me Paint! Me Talk to Horsy Spirit! Me Shaman! Bow to me!

As our mental capabilities expanded so did our cultures, language and religions. If you look at the history of religions you also see how their concepts and liturgy evolved in complexity. But the human intellect is an amazing thing - and once our basic civilization was established smarter heads started to questions the gods themselves (like Epicurus).

They already concluded that nature is everything and that the gods are nothing. Even things like the atom were discussed long before they had the means to research it’s existence. Human imagination can work far beyond your cultural and technological limits.

But religion also proved to be a great tool over power - and rulers always like to have a divine backing. The people can ruled much easier if their leaders are in favor with the gods - not matter how dubious those connections are. And almost all cultures have creations myths that make THEM the chosen ones. For example the Japanese track themselves back to the sun goddess Amaterasu. I personally like the imagination and complexity of Hinduism. You hardly find a more colorful universe of gods.

The Enemies of my Religion are also our Enemies. Let’s crush them, because we are the Chosen ones …

As religion is an attempt to explain the universe (and therefore a search for the ultimate truth) it leads to science. Almost all early European scientist were dedicated Christians, who were VERY curious how god managed to run the whole show. Too bad that they discovered that the old stories of all religions weren’t true: the earth was neither the center of the universe nor was it formed out of a slain giants body.

But parallel to the myths of religion (and fairy tales) we humans discovered spirituality, our own psyche, the secrets of our minds and a new love for the beauty of the universe. Almost all major religions have their smaller departments dedicated to more serious spiritual paths - which are often more demanding and more abstract then the normal liturgy for the common follower. A truely dedicated lifestyle of a Yogi or Jesuit priest is NOT everyone - it’s very demanding. And people are unwilling to really give everything for their gods. Self preservation is usually stronger then religion.

Are you a true follower of your God(s)?! Spiritual nakedness and Yogi tea are not for everybody you know …?!

Life - the last twenty thousand years - was quite harsh to humans. Simply getting enough food was tough enough. Life was always very unfair and scary. Religion also helped to cope with fear and survival - tight rules and rituals helped tribes to survive and unite under a common banner/purpose. Religion also helped us to ‘organize’ power and hierarchies.

Religion helped us to survive and was one of the first components of our cultures. But culture will continue to evolve - even the evolution of ideas is pretty unstoppable.

Many people say that science is the true enemy of the gods or any religion. But no - our cultural evolution is the true ‘enemy’ (if you can speak in such terms anyway).

Cultural evolution brings not only full stomachs, but a separation of powers, the rule of the law, a more mutual sharing of technologies, education, medical supplies and science.

In the early 1500s European Christianity was becoming more and more aware of those ‘other’ religions and world views - simply because travel and trade was coming back to roman standards. In a monotheistic religion/society it’s much more shocking to hear that there is an alternative to just the one ‘true’ god. Polytheistic societies never had that problem to such an extend - they could cope with (just) another god …

The same Country and same God - three different groups fighting to the Death. A bit odd isn’t it?!

Luxuries like human rights, democracy, free markets and the separation of powers didn’t appear until the late 1700s in Europe. Instead of just fighting for survival, we could dedicate (again) more resources to social evolution and exploration, because we finally had the understanding how to help ourselves and survive.

Also we started to rule ourselves less by divine appointment, but by social and political ideas. The concept of the national identity was supplanting religious identities - especially in Europe after those devastating and fruitless religious wars.

So in some way Martin Luther’s idea split the Christian atom (much more then the catholic (western) and orthodox (eastern) separation before). This big bang lead to the Age of Enlightenment. But it was paid with a lot of blood and burned bodies.

He challenged the Power of the Church and tried to put believe back into Christianity.

Looking back in our history one could say we have fought many wars between conflicting cultural ideas: from tribes uniting under one religion, to great religions fighting each other and social ideas fighting religions to establish a new order within a bigger cultural context.

Overall our cultures evolved to ever increasing social structures: from tribes to kingdoms, from kingdoms to nation states, from nation states to continental entities (like the EU).

But old ideas never completely die: we still have tribalism as well as religion amongst us. The wars of the 1990’s in the Balkans and current conflicts between Muslims and Christians show how deep these old ideas are still embedded in our cultural DNA.

The Founding Fathers of America - one of the greatest moments in History. They put the Nation before God, the Citizen before their Rulers.

The idea of the nation state or even atheism are pretty new - hardly a couple of centuries old - compared to tens of thousands of years of tribalism and religions.

I say no more gods please - they had several thousand years to enlighten us, put an end to suffering, spread universal love and understanding. Gods and religions have failed to do so - although they had more then enough time and cost us a huge amount of life’s.

We are currently struggling to implement new concepts into our cultural evolution: a truly global society, universal human rights, total religious freedom (or betters say to protect ‘true’ believers from each other) and a free flow of information. No surprise people are scared and more blood is shed. But overall our current democratic, socialist and capitalist ‘ideas’ have feed and clothed more people then ever - safety and education are still on the rise although we still experience huge humanitarian catastrophes (like in Darfur or Africa in general).

Since democracy, technology and science have started to spread - we as a race have prospered more then ever. Gods didn’t build schools and hospitals, fed and clothed the poor, educated and explored the human potential - and this potential also includes our spirituality and imagination.

*repost from 2005*

How often do you really hold your own destiny in your hand? And how often do you carefully shape your own path? Do you leave it all to the universe by accident and pure faith? Or do you simply function?!

How often do we really apply our powers to shape our future in a conscious state of mind & spirit?

Some problems in life seem huge and you feel only tiny and insignificant. But David did beat Goliath - and small pinch in the right place can even make giant run away. Take your chance!

Nobody likes to be weak - but often we make ourselves smaller and weaker then we are. Why? Is it a lack of confidence? A lack of knowledge of strength and abilities? Or do we sometimes choose to be weak to get rid of any responsibilities and lucrative chances?

The intranets provide a cute safety net if you feel stressed out, unloved or empty. Just click for something cute - and your day brightens up. So the net becomes an emotional one-click-pony: Click-Cute-and-Relax!

We humans have the great ability to empathize: we can feel what we see. We feel the cuddly moments and gentleness of such sweet snaps. We become the picture we watch - we become the little fluffy being being cared for. For an instant we are without weight, memory and pain.

The emotional rush is better than chocolate, caffeine and Prozac. Escape the harshness of your life with a cute instant gratification.

It’s a feature - not a bug!

My basic question: Is there a religion without fear?

Although we seem to find the motive or promise of love or eternal bliss in so many religions - we also find the element of fear and some form of damnation in them as well. There always seems a special place for the faithful: like Heaven or Valhalla. Even the concept of Nirvana is in it’s metaphorical meaning similar to a blessed place - compared to the wheel of reincarnation.

All hail King Pain of the eternal damnation!

Fear is a biological feature of humanity. It serves an important function like pain, to motivate ourselves to be extra cautious. Fear influences our whole being: mind and body. I can range from being slightly nervous about something to a complete breakdown. We can literally die from fear. Fear itself can ‘kill’.

The strange thing about fear is that it’s trigger is in no relation to it’s effect. A small spider can scare some people out of their wits, while some other people can handle deadly snakes with loving care without fear. You can be afraid that the sky might fall upon your head or being abducted by aliens - your fear will be 100% ‘real’ to you - while the actual ‘threat’ may not.

All fear is relative.

But apart from the ‘practical’ fears about our physical well being our psyche can also be afraid of rather abstract things and social problems alike: What will the future bring? Will my new friends like me? What will my neighbors think? Does this dress reflect my style?

Even the fear of death - the ultimate moment we will all experience - is not the same for everyone. Some people throw themselves into battles or fires - or even certain death without any fear - while others are even afraid to think about their own demise.

So it can be said that fear is relative to each person - but we all know fear (unless you are mentally ill).

What is it that you fear?

Our psyche is a strange place - since it uses fear in so many instances to ‘measure’ our well being or keep us moving. Ultimately all fears are related to survival, to secure our existence. Will I be safe? Will I have food? Is this place secure? Is this stranger dangerous for me? Too much fear of course is unhealthy of course - but overall it’s constantly present in our daily life’s.

Since fear is such an universal concept it is easy to invoke and relate too. Fear is a great social glue and equalizer since everyone can relate his/her to a threat from the ‘outside’. The human social equation goes from ‘me’ to ‘us’ (the family, tribe & nations) to ‘them’ (the outsiders). It is amazing how much power and fear ‘different’ people can instill. Humanity has fought many wars with itself - ‘they’ against ‘us’ in many variations. Dogmas, religions and political ideas have always provided sound reasoning why ‘they’ can or must be destroyed - they were the converters from fear to murder.

Fear is a great profit maker: arms, insurances and makeup.

But these all are ‘real world’ affairs, something that can be observed or explored/solved in our minds.

But we are all powerless when confronting ethereal concepts like the spiritual world and the afterlife. Here we enter the ultimate unknown and ultimate fear - the state of the never ending ‘death’. That is why the concept of any sort of Hell or total uncertainty are so scary: you are in eternal discomfort, pain and fear. And there is no escape - not even through death. This is of course a terrible paradox and endless loop of fear.

This where (most) religions offer a sanctuary: there is a place apart from eternal fear (close to your God(s). A place without fear or anything to fear is bliss - there is no future to fear, since it is eternal without a ticking clock or any change. It is also an ultimate end to one of our inner most processes and motivations.

Eternal fear of eternal pain.

Here I may ask: maybe fear is the ultimate reason for the invention of religion. Since we can’t escape all the fears existence brings - we wish for a place without this pressure and threats, a place without fears. All sorts of religions promise us to save us from fear - so many times it is actually faith that is supposed to save us (and not love). To have strong faith conquers fear (they say). And a strong faith will make sure that your God(s) will not forsaken you.

Fear is the Mother of all Gods.

*repost from 2005-06-04*

Some people are down to earth. Others like to fly between the clouds. The extreme ones go for the moon and stars. And the pros are one with the whole universe.

Why do people need to be someplace else with their minds & souls - except to stay in the here and now?

I have searched far and wide - but I haven’t found a single religion nor spiritual discipline that made pathetic behavior for it’s followers mandatory. Do you know one?! But people love being pathetic, doesn’t matter if they are new age incense burners or old school Catholics. They all go for it! You can see sparkling eyes and hear thundering voices during sales presentation as well as in churches and meditation centers. Being pathetic seems to work like an universal fudge to help us poor humans to make ourselves and our believes larger than life - whenever we need to feel bigger …

The show must go on! Why do we love pathos? Does it help us to be better believers or sinners?

Religious or spiritual practices mostly work with rules and rituals to help, educate and guide it’s followers to god/enlightenment. It doesn’t matter if you go the way of the Yogi, Buddha, Tantra or Catholic, you are expected to follow certain rules or better say ‘frame of mind’ to reach enlightenment. Since practice makes you perfect, this is always an ongoing process with no brakes and bonuses. Spirituality mostly means working with yourself, which can be pretty boring, annoying and most of all very personal.

But how do you know you are on the right track? Not everybody gets the treat of a burning bush or a booming voice from the sky. Do you feel happy if you are just a good Buddhist? Can you hear angels singing if God acknowledges your good deeds? How does it feel to be holy?

Now this a dangerous trap: since most spiritual practices are boring or hard work - and our egos love instant gratification - we go for great pathetic moments. Something that makes us feel better about being spiritual. We basically trick ourselves into feeling good or even holy - without ‘Gods’ approval.

Very nasty.

I am sure all the devils and demons agree that this is the right moment to seduce believers into false security and push them a bit further to indulge in into even more spiritual vanity.

Especially the human mob mentality is a great vehicle for pathetic temptations. People love shows, the bigger the better. The greater the show, the more powerful your god. And doesn’t it feel good to have the biggest cosmic buddy on the block? Or show off your God’s powers by building the biggest mega church, temple or mosque on this planet?

Of course pathos also helps when you practice your particular brand of spirituality at home. There is always a thin line between lighting a candle as a help for meditation or just to create a nicer atmosphere. And there is still the questions if lighting a candle really makes you a better person anyway. Tools, gizmos and gimmicks are a sure indicator for pathetic believers. The catchphrase is Kitsch-Religion.

Pathos is spiritual masturbation, a poor substitute for real insights and rewards from hard practice (yes, I don’t believe in instant gratification just for a nice and good person). Who or whatever you choose as your personal God or Heaven - they won’t deliver manna pills to your front door, just because you have subscribed to their point of view. In most spiritual paths the ‘good stuff’ comes from ridding yourself from ego barriers and connecting to the rest of the universe. Amen Dude!

A pathetic ritual or practice is as useless as no spirituality at all. It’s even more dangerous if you show and infect other people with your pathos. As every entertainer or stage magician can tell you, people love to be impressed and seduced. They will always go for big words, pathetic tears of joy and glorious promises instead of the simple ugly truth. The ministry of health warns: pathetic religious advertising is bad for your soul!

Let’s keep it close and personal. Being pathetic during your personal daily routine or rituals may help to bridge any emptiness or doubt you might have, but that’s not the real stuff. Pathos is a great smokescreen to make your own fears disappear … at least for some time. But isn’t that one of the most basic and essential challenges in life: to face your own fears? Your very own questions and doubts about life, love and the rest of the universe?

*repost 2003-12-01*