Sexual skills are obviously important to us - especially in our sex-obsessed multi-porn societies. I guess kids today have heard more about the impressive effects of giving head to other people’s organs than cultivating impressive personal characteristics.
But being good in bed is just a skill, it’s not who you are. You can learn who squeeze & please. But it’s much more impressive to be a great person - and that is harder to achieve.
It was neither practical nor romantic to get some hot action in a movie theatre. It was pure necessity, since most people couldn’t afford their own places.
Today you can hook up with your girlfriend in front of your expensive multimedia-beamer-dolby-surround-entertainment-system - and be completely bored by all the bad movies you own without any erotic action.
Maybe romance in public is more exciting, because it’s limited and public?
Why is what a guy can achieve with his sausage in maybe fifteen minutes, much more important to his psyche what he can achieve with the rest of himself? Your sausage is part of you - you are not an appendix of you sausage.
If we all would more behave like our trusted canine friends we would have much more fun. But wagging ones male tail in public is a no go in human society.
I think we can learn a lot from dogs.
The ugly and poor guys only chance to get the girl is to be "funny". I haven’t figured out why, but humor and charm seems the best weapon against the wealth and higher social status of male competitors.
I am wondering why the female psyche is so vulnerable humor?
Does humor have an evolutionary advantage?
Oh honey - just wait till the kids are gone - then I’ll get a divorce and party my brains out.
The possibilities of women have changed tremendously in the last 60 years.
Overall women have benefited the most from the sexual revolution and the new equality. Men lost their traditional "advantages" based on their gender - and they are less adaptable and flexible when it comes to our modern work environment and it’s "softer" requirements like team play, flexibility, communication, learning and emotional intelligence.
But women have also suffered from the new form of social fabric: they are now biggest number of single parents - responsible for raising and funding our kids.
People between 35 and 45 are the most populous group in many western countries. (Click image to pop the pyramid.)
In recent decades the good old population pyramid has basically flipped 180° - and now we have more mature and old people in western societies than we have young ones. We are becoming grey societies. (By the way: you can get population pyramids for many countries here)
So the fortysomethings are the biggest group in the population right now.
Plus the longer life expectancy, single lifestyle and overall youth cult have made the fortysomethings the new players in town: they have money, they are still horny and active. And their grown up egos are much more neurotic and hungry for self gratification.
The most active consumer group here are mature women. Many of them now are shedding their kids, because they are grown up now. So they want to "party extra hard" and make up for all the time they were dedicated mothers and wives.
Plus the modern western cities are more streamlined for the new single lifestyle - and they are the majority now. Families used to "rule" the cities - but that has changed during the 90’s. It’s now single all the way - or better "serial monogamizers" (people who hop from one fast relationship to the next one).
So our cities are a huge playground for the mature ladies.
Does this pop video make me look old?
The beauty and fashion industry has long discovered this rich and often desperate clientele: the cream for the skin at forty, the pill for the rotten brain at forty, etc.
The message here is: you are still adorable, but you need a tune up. Albeit an expensive one.
Behind all this is the ugly face of infertility. All primary "beauty" spots - red lips, beautiful hair, smooth skin, wide eyes - are signs of health and therefore fertility. A good looking women is most of all a fertile women.
Forty is the Magic Age - the last call for babies. But it is also the age of a new form of competition: you are fading out of the beauty competition - you are no longer the hottest chick in town, you already show some defects and there is fresher meat on sale.
Our society has just developed a "mature concept" for beauty and sexuality, but overall we do not appreciate the beauty and wisdom of older ladies as they are. We only have "Venus" measurement: either you are a young fertile love goddess or you are not.
Our definition what’s hot or not is still deeply ingrained in our biological code: only healthy breeding material is sexy.
Mature Bitches rule the Suburbs!
That brings us to the overall sexualization of age. Since Viagra was released the pressure was on - there was no longer an excuse for guys not too perform - so the ladies also had to joining the gray swingers club.
But the sexualization of mature women goes further: TV series like "Sex in the City" and "Desperate Housewives" are both part of the wider "MILF" syndrome (MILF = Mothers I’d like to fuck).
This is a new sex trend as well media frenzy: mature hot looking women who are oversexed and fuck anything that moves - plus the additional drama this behavior causes. Usually the before mentioned attributes are reserved for males. These MILFs know no taboos, they know no limits. They are the perfect sex partners.
So modern life restarts at 40 and a gray society needs to tell itself it’s still capable and interesting. It’s a mutual lie and effort to push the boundaries of age and dissolve old limits and taboos.
In a way it’s almost like the sexual egos of mature women are fighting against the menopause: "Look I still can get semen, I am still adorable! And with Science I am gonna kick your ass Mother Nature!"
Pregnant at 40+ and loving it!
In the past women past the magic age of 40 were left alone, because they were heading straight for their menopause and were therefore uninteresting as breeding material. Just wait a few more years and these women are great grandmother material.
But thanks to science, overall better health and life expectancy breeding for women after 40 is now pretty normal. And many young women prefer postpone babies longer and longer, so 35+ mothers are becoming the norm in western societies instead or rare exceptions.
And breeding can now be outsourced to a "working womb" if necessary. All you need to do is freeze your eggs in the right age and "seed" them if you are ready and rich enough to have your own kids.
So science has helped to beat the biological clock in some aspects and women can now have babies - apart from the very popular game of international adoption - in almost any age.
Guardian: Pregnancy among over-40s reaches ‘record high’
Let’s celebrate mature female consumerism and neurotic obsessions with the perfect wedding!
Conclusions?
In some way mature women are now doing the same what mature guys have been doing for ages: get out and have some fun with younger flesh. The TV shows are mostly about the usual "Relationship Porn" we love to watch (and stuff like Big Brother is the ultimate Social Porn anyway).
But the big picture is more complex: our aging societies are trying to cope with age and longevity. Behind all the modern media hype are serious questions: How do we live our lives NOT as passive grandmothers and grandfathers?
Most western people won’t have kids or grandkids when they cross the 40’s. There will be no families to fall back on - and often not even relationships - so we need new ways to socialize, form relationships on every level and "grow".
Why wait for death when you are just 40 - when your life expectancy is beyond 80? This is just the middle of your life Darling!
The old pensioner is gone - the next generation of "oldies" will be more demanding, self centered and active. Science will try to keep them "awake" and active much longer. And since our population pyramid is so skewed we need mature people to work longer and harder.
That is why the old cliches about mature women (and men) are under attack and are currently reformulated (even on trivial levels): It’s ok to have fun beyond 40, it’s ok to fuck beyond 40 and it’s probably necessary to have kids beyond 40.
That is why our societies needs to be open minded and explore about new "phases" in our lives: start a new life with 40 or a family. Since we all will last beyond the age of 70 or 80 it’s important to allow ourselves to have many "phases" in one life - and not being condemned to one "path" one has chosen in her or his twenties or thirties.
New Scientist: ‘Sexy’ voice gives fertile women away
The pair recorded women counting from 1 to 10 at four occasions during their menstrual cycle. They then replayed the recordings at random to male and female students and asked them to rate the attractiveness of the voices. Both males and females judged the women’s voices to be most attractive if they were recorded during the peak fertility period of the menstrual cycle, and less attractive if they were recorded during non-fertile periods (Evolution and Human Behavior, DOI: 10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2008.02.001).
The results are in line with evidence that the female voice box, or larynx, is under the influence of sex hormones, says Gallup. He says the changes in the female voice during peak fertility support the view that women are “different” at that point in the menstrual cycle - in other words, that they experience oestrus.
“Changes in the attractiveness of a woman’s voice during peak fertility support the view that women experience oestrus”
The theory of human oestrus remains controversial because its effects are subtle; human females show none of the distinct genital swellings seen in other female mammals “in heat”. But there is increasing evidence of more subtle changes. “Other differences include changes in sexual receptivity and odour sensitivity,” Gallup says.
Anyone surprised? Nope. When will we finally accept that our biology plays and important part in our social life’s. Many aspects of human behavior are influenced by our urge to procreate. We need a Sexual Revolution 3.0 that includes, respects and integrates such insights into our society and lifestyle.
Plus for the Ladies: For Some Women, ‘Deep, Manly’ Voices Go a Long Way (According to Study, Deeper Vocals Attract More Women).
Just because you own an expensive vehicle doesn’t mean all the hot chicks want to play with your stick as well.
Smell plays an important role in our sexuality and survival.
We know that things that smell badly are literally bad for us. That is why we don’t eat rotten meat or drink smelly water.
In sexuality smell plays several roles. Partners can sniff out each others DNA compatibility: the more the others side DNA compliments yours and therefore ensures a better survival rate for your offspring’s the more we like the smell of that person.
But there is more: young woman and guys smell much sweeter and seductive than more mature and older partners. The perfume industry is basically built on that effect - with “sweet water” we try to trick others into “loving” our fake scent and find us (sexually) attractive.
But like with rotten meat bad smell of old partners is a warning from nature: don’t waste your time, energy, sperm or eggs with an infertile partner - there will be no babies.
Does anyone know a good perfume for me that works on young sluts?
Just because you and an your drunken mates can afford to go into a strip club doesn’t mean you suddenly turned into George Clooney and all the females are crazy for you middle management wankers.
Interesting video - didn’t know that Sir Attenborough also did porn voice overs. Overall I am happy that my penis isn’t located behind my head - although sometimes it feels like my head is located in my penis. And another note: you can show almost any animal fucking on national TV - except homo sapiens … why is that?
*Thanks to Olivia for that scientific video*
Why is sexual unity so often considered the ultimate ‘oneness’? Can’t we be one without arousal, hormones and desire? Or are we talking unity in sexual energy with all Chakras open and flowing? But still, that can be achieved without intercourse. Or do our egos need sex to be so distracted that they finally can see the unity that is always there?
Artist: Andrew Gonzalez
Guys always think about sex and want to mate any ol’ female. Yeah right, that might have been true before the invention of the video games. Since then … we can resist any pussy in face of a new high score!
Distrust any religious establishment that doesn’t enjoy the ultimate power of the universe and life: to have sex and procreate.
Unless you fuck yourself how can you explain and share the creative God’s blessings of sexuality? Life = Sex = Universe … and therefore must be godly …
Even after millions of wrecked knees, broken ankles and harsh downfalls the female of our species refuses to wear normal and safe footwear.
Instead they spent huge amounts of their income for these contraptions - just to be a little bit sexier, just to be a little bit higher and just to feel a bit better about themselves.
Just as guys try to improve their penis by buying huge cars and guns, female try to expand their alluring sexual qualities by huge amounts of leather objects in their closets.
Most advertising plays on our fears. This one does this as well - but in a very smart and evil way. 
A photofest to celebrate all our women’s yoni (Wikipedia as usual):
The word yoni is the Sanskrit word for the ‘female reproductive organ’. Translated directly into English, it could mean vulva or vagina. It also has a wider meaning in religious and spiritual contexts, where its meaning is ‘creativity’. The yoni is also considered to be symbolic of Shakti or other goddesses of a similar nature.
Yoni is perhaps the most misused and misunderstood word from the ancient Indo-Aryanic language, Sanskrit. The word yoni was originally used more often in a spiritual sense rather than as a term to describe female genitalia.
How about some Yoni worshipping?
Every fetish has an ultimate climax - and then it’s all downhill from there.
The good thing about phone sex is that is has nothing to do with reality - so your biggest sex organ isn’t limited by reality.
So your fantasy is potent you can create excitement beyond belief. Only drawback - there is nobody there to cuddle with you once the brainy excitement wears off.
Maybe one should combine the physical and the imagination into one big bang?
Since it is now scientifically proven that blonde woman are a bad influence on us males - maybe different colored woman should do something to help us escape that evil spell?
This also shines a different light on all the fake blondes out there. Woman usually say that men like them to be dumb. But in reality woman make themselves blonde to make us guys dumber. So put your cards on the table ladies: you are the ones who like dumb partners - not us!
And Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord slew him.
And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.
Genesis 38: 7-10 (KJV)
Our minds are pretty pleased when our physical appearance causes a big stir in the other sex. To be desired and to be ‘hot’ seems very much on our ego’s agenda - although procreation is the real story behind all this parading and showing off. Your DNA wants to spread and clone itself. Funny that the mind is so hooked to that job as well … Mind over Matter - DNA over Mind …
In our modern societies getting a high public rating for your DNA has now become more important than actually spreading it. Styling, ego surfing and ego presentation now lead only to casual sex, but not to babies in rich countries.
Is it maybe my age? Or is it because I am unable to form proper relationships? But I am getting less and less pussy in my life. This is not a complaint about being sexless, but rather without some recharging contact to lovely females …
Sex is certainly nice and exciting, although I find the pure act itself rather boring and uninspiring. Orgasm is usually quicker achieved without third party support. Sure, one can look out for new kicks, like a little bit perversion on the side, drugs or mind boggling experiments (like fucking in an exploding space shuttle).
But I am hungry for something else …
I spent quite some time on personal sex and sensual culture, by doing Tantra, massage and yoga. Which is good. It’s great to know your heart chakra from your ass, as well being able to know for yourself if you feel horny or simply true love and affection for another human being. This is all very helpful. Thank you so much Mr. Insight.
But knowing stuff is one thing - now for the practical part. Already during my first Tantra days I had quite a hard time finding women who understood this new ‘thing’, being able to cope with a so called ‘emotionally grown up male’. Since I have overcome the snobbish esoteric desire to heal women with my holy penis (or Lingam as the Tantrist call the sausage bit), there is now a lot of time to experience a nice flow of energy and sexuality between a lovely Shakti and me (the so called Shiva). I am not asking for a cosmic orgy every night or the supreme priestess of Yoni in my life, just a bit understanding and tenderness beyond the old in & out mechanism.
This is not tantric snobbism. I am just a firm believer that lovemaking is a set skills, that goes way beyond a simple erection or wetness and some Uhhhs and Ahhhs.
Love technique is a pure set of physical sex skills, to know your own and your partners anatomy, erroneous zones and the effect on hormones and excitement on the human body (and side effects to the mind and emotional side as well - more of that later). Also included is knowledge about how to operate your genitals and pleasure tools, as well as the effects of different positions. In later stages you can add all sorts of games, operation of external pleasure tools and drugs as well.
The next big area is your sexual psyche, how the human mind and emotions interact with sexual energies. Now this is quite a task, but a very fulfilling one. This is were we can learn to be more open, to heal or wounds of love and learn to show and give true affection. Since sex ‘lives’ very close to our egos, there is a lot of potential for conflict, fear, hunger and madness. To master your sex psyche means mostly to confront your hungry sex maniac ego. Me! Me! Me!
For some people the last area of sex magic or spirituality is the most exciting, because they expect some sort of Steven Spielberg effects while making love or instant enlightenment by tantric penetration. Or they simply watched to much advertising bullshit.
An energetic as well as spiritual exchange always happens while making sex/love. If you have read all tantric literature in the world or not. This is more about to learn how to use these energies consciously, instead of an unaware and animalistic level (which is also useful). This is about exchange with your partner, weaving a carpet of love and energy that goes way beyond the satisfaction of an physical orgasm. It’s a deep experience that has a more lasting effect on your psyche on different levels: your ego will feel very happy about all that deep attention it received, your body is humming with energy, your soul is touched on an intimate level, that hardly exist in everyday life.
Let’s go back to my tiny ego problems …
I shed my biggest tears about sensual deprivation. I want to be touched and massaged in a fulfilling way. Once again this is an area where I did some workshops, loads of massage exchanges (with people from different massage ‘traditions’) and of course energy work. In the age of consumer Ayuveda and global esoterica, it seems very hard to find people to celebrate such a basic human ‘thing’: to touch and be touched in a nice way without any sexual drive behind it.
What drives me nuts, is that so called ‘normal’ people have such a hard time giving and receiving a simple pleasure as touching from someone else. It’s always an exclusive thing, just reserved for the one and only true partner or lover.
What a poor and limited concept.
I guess before we ever reach the stage of universal love, we need to explore the universal touch first. If you are afraid of simply touching someone in a pleasant and friendly way, how can you open your heart & mind for compassion or even love for the whole universe?
*repost 2003-09-13*
Behind every fairy tale lies often a deeper psychological and cultural message. So Rotkäppchen and her encounter with the big bad wolf has a sexual side to it as well - the furry old creature is the horny Grandfather. Understanding myths is still an important skill, since our subconscious still works with rather primitive archetypes and concepts.
I can highly recommend Joseph Campbell’s Power of Myth (book, DVD, audio tapes) to anyone who wants to look deeper.
